Norman Rockwell Was Delusional

First off, I know I have been slacking on keeping up with this blog. Honestly, if this were an anonymous blog, I would have so much great material! But it is not. And I’ve really had nothing to write that has fit within the “share with the entire universe” boundaries.

Thanksgiving came and went. I’m not a big turkey and casserole fan, but nevertheless it was a relaxing day. I did my early Black Friday morning shopping at Toys R Us and Wal-mart and was home by 8am.

I’m not in the holiday spirit this year. Maybe it’s because I have a lot going on in my life, but I’m just kind of ho-hum about it all. Putting up the decorations was a total beating and did not fit my image of the Norman Rockwell paintings whatsoever.

We pulled all the stuff out on Friday afternoon. Rylan was looking at it all in amazement, as if he hasn’t seen the exact same decorations for the past 5 years. He kept asking, “Where did you get all this???”

I have collected Snowbabies since I was in college (not really my style anymore but they really are pretty cute so I put them out every year). They go on the window seat in my kitchen. The entire time I was putting them out I had to yell at my kids, “Don’t touch that!” “Put that down!” “Look with your eyes, not with your hands!”

I mean, they are breakable. I’m not trying to suck the fun out of it. I just don’t want them to crash all over the tile floor.

We had big plans to put up the tree on Saturday night. This was such a fun experience when I used to do this by myself and I always had either festive Christmas music playing or my favorite holiday movies on in the background. I longed for the day I could do it with my kids.

Here’s how it looked in reality.

My DH decides on the way home from somewhere at 5:00 that we should both make and decorate sugar cookies AND do the tree. Say what? That was not on my schedule. And I do not like having my schedule changed. (Control freak that I am).

So he spends half an hour at the store getting stuff for the cookies. I let him be in charge and it was really sweet watching him teach the kids how to cut the cookies out of the dough, etc. I am not good at that. But come on, people. Now the kitchen is a disaster and we are way behind schedule.

So now it’s almost 7:00 and we pull the tree inside the house from the garage.

Problem number one. Cannot get the stand to fold out correctly. Had to bend it into shape and cross our fingers that it worked.

Problem number two. I cannot figure out these lights. Which ones plug into which strands…it was a mess. Of course I threw the directions away last year. We got it all worked out until we reached the top, at which point we finally gave up and connected a big green extension cord that now runs down the back of my Christmas tree. I really don’t care at this point.

Did I mention that Presley has been a giant mess for the past several days?

So through all this ho ho holiday fun she is crying and clinging to my leg and saying “I hold you!” over and over again.

At this point it is 7:35 and I gave her a 60 second bath and put her straight to bed. I came back downstairs and started working on fluffing out all the branches. By 8:30 my arms are tired and I am so beat.

So I plopped on the couch next to my husband, who has been watching some football game this whole time. Not exactly It’s a Wonderful Life.

Sunday afternoon I mustered up all my strength and energy and finished trimming the tree. My five year old “helped” me and I tried really hard not to yell at him as he put every single ornament on the bottom branches.

The highlight was watching him pull out a $2 Superman ornament and shriek with excitement. I wish I were so easy to please!

Now the decorations are out, most of the presents are bought…and I feel…Nothing.

I hate being Grinch-like. Maybe it will come to me soon.

NOT a Compliment

Some people - guys especially - are just really ignorant.

This morning I'm sitting in my office, minding my own business. This guy comes in and talks to my co-worker across the hall, and I can tell he keeps looking at me. We knew each other from about 10 years ago when we both went to the single's group at the church I work for.

I really was not in the mood to talk so I didn't really act like I noticed him. Too bad for me. He says, "Hey, weren't you in the singles group a while back?" and I'm all, "Yeah! Hey, are you the guy that lived with so and so?" blah blah blah. And do you know what he says?

"I thought that was you but you are about half your size now!"

Huh?????

And I gave him a look that said, "Oh my gosh...did you REALLY just say that?"

So he says, "I mean, your face is just all tight [did unhelpful hand motions pulling his face back to demonstrate] and you just look really healthy."

Oh, thanks. Because that sounds so much better.

For the record, I weighed 10 pounds more than I do now. I went from 110 to 100. I was such a fattie, geez.

In my early twenties I did not know how to eat. That, plus I had baby fat that literally just dropped off around the time I got married. My friends were astonished, everyone wanted to know what my secret was...I have no real explanation. I started working out and making better food choices. Yet, when I stopped working out (after the wedding was over, of course) the weight never came back. I've had 2 kids and it's still the same. The stomach's not, but that's a whole different issue reserved for a discussion with my future tummy tuck surgeon.

I, for one, pretty much never comment on a person's weight. Kind of like I don't comment to a pregnant stranger about the fact that they are pregnant unless they are literally giving birth. It's just too risky.

A simple "You look great!" will do just fine.

Real Housewives of OC is Back!

I just remembered that Real Housewives of Orange County starts back up tonight! I'm so excited! But seriously, did all the TV executives get together and decide to put every single show I watch on the same night? Thank goodness we have three DVRs. I mean, really.

I did watch the premiere of V on Tuesday night and loved it! I am a closet sci fi geek - that would probably surprise a lot of people. I had to drag my husband to the Star Wars prequels through the years. And I was on my own when the Lord of the Rings movies came out.

I am dragging today. Four hours of sleep last night. I've been awake since 4:50am and am now about out of steam. It was a combination of getting woken up when Rylan went to the restroom and then laying there for 3 hours while I pondered all of my life's problems, and then two hours after I finally fell back asleep the same child woke up with an earache. I just couldn't ever turn my brain back off after that. (But he woke up feeling fine, thank goodness.)

1.5 hours until the crazy girl naps and hopefully I can at least shut my eyes! I have lots of TV watching to do tonight! It's all about priorities.