Mommish.com

Wistful Thinking

2010-10-06T15:44:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to lie, I have been a bit of an emotional wreck lately.

A couple of weeks ago I was at dinner with my husband talking about how great it is to be working, how much I enjoy my job, I think I'll always want to work, yada yada yada.

Then the wind blew and I have had a hard time getting through each workday.

I've been feeling so nostalgic about the early days with my kids and longing to go back to my "old" life. The one where I drop them off 2 days a week at mother's day out. The one where I went to the gym 3-4 times a week. The one where we had endless amounts of time to go to the park, play games, watch movies, go on fun outings. And playdates! I miss the playdates.

I'm trying to remember the bad with the good: The many days I woke up and looked at my husband and said, "I don't want to do this today!" The times I called my best friend crying because my kids were on my very last nerve and I couldn't take it anymore. The endless days (especially during summer) of waking up and trying to figure out what on earth we were going to do that day that didn't require spending lots of money. The lack of a second income.

One thing I have realized is that there are some moms who are "made" to be stay-at-home moms. They love it, excel at it, and I'm insanely jealous of them.

Then there are the moms who are "made" to be working moms. They can't imagine staying home, love their career, and seem to make it all work. I'm insanely jealous of them.

And then there's me. I'm somewhere in the middle and I think that is a hard way to be. I constantly feel pulled in one direction or the other. It is exhausting.

I have no idea what the answer is. I'm trying to take it day by day, not thinking too far out. But it is hard. Today I took a personal day so we could go to the fair (Rylan is out of school). It was glorious!

But tomorrow it is back to the grind. Drumming up prospects, trying to close deals that have been on the table for 3-4 months. Paying for daycare with half of my paycheck. And smiling all the while.

How is that for honesty??

Brazen Brazilian

2010-09-30T18:23:00.000-07:00

I wasn't sure what to title this post.

Just one thought tonight.

I was getting my hair done and another one of my hairstylist's clients came in and was chatting with us. She is a senior in high school. And she was there to get a Brazilian wax.

This is a cute, popular, All-American, Christian girl. Just waitin' her turn to get it all stripped off. Why? Going to the lakehouse this weekend.

Oh my gosh! Times have really changed. I mean, really. I'm 34 and I can't even imagine subjecting myself to that kind of pain! When I was in high school, way back in the early nineties, I think the furthest lengths we went to was to go tanning and get fake nails. I took it another step and gave myself a truly sun-kissed look by putting Sun-In and lemon juice in my hair. Worked wonders. That's the way it was and we liked it! We loved it! (Sorry, SNL reference.)

I'm not really sure what it says about this generation of girls. As a mother of a precious 3 year old daughter, I do know that I want my baby not to have to grow up too fast, be too sophisticated, too soon. No need to have Carrie Bradshaw grooming habits at age 16 or 17.

Please. I beg you.

Clicking

2010-09-24T19:13:00.000-07:00

You know when you have those weeks when things are just clicking?

I had one this week! Hurray!

Why?

1. I am finally, finally starting to feel like I have somewhat of an idea on how to do my job. I am making great progress with some of these hotels and signed a big one this week. I'm establishing some really great relationships with existing customers and potential customers. I'm good at that part. I'm working on getting good at the design part. But I'm getting there!

2. My church is just so awesome - they started a Women in the Workplace ministry. This was my second week to go to the lunchtime Bible study. I just love it. And I cannot tell you what it means to me that my church supports moms like me who work because they want to or have to.

3. I got asked to be on our school district's leadership team for the next 2 years! It turns out that Rylan's soccer coach is also the assistant superintendent, and he asked me if I'd like to be a part of it. I just felt like it was God confirming that we are in the right place...it's all "clicking"!

4. This isn't a clicking thing, just a bonus. Tonight the kids and I watched E.T. They had never seen it before and I hadn't sat and watched it since I was probably a kid. They loved it and so did I. Of course I was really trying to fight back the tears at the end, especially as the music swelled and Elliott told E.T. goodbye...love that movie!

Time to go watch The Soup. It's my Friday night ritual. Because I'm wild like that.

Pinkalicious

2010-09-18T18:32:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday night so of course the kids and I partied at Wal-Mart because that's the way we roll over here. Daddy is out of town and we already had our fun at the Dallas Children's Museum this morning with my sister and niece.

We went through the toy aisles and much to my daughter's delight (and mine, I must confess), we discovered they have a whole new line of Pinkalicious toys! Dolls, dress up clothes, Goldie the unicorn...And when I googled it to get a picture I found there are Pinkalicious bikes, ride on toys, tons of stuff.

We have the Pinkalicious and Goldilicious books over here and we read them all the time.

Looks like we have begun our Christmas Wish List!

P.S. - I love having a girl!!!

Hand of Doom

2010-09-16T13:37:00.000-07:00

The other day I overheard the kids talking while sitting in my closet. Presley must have hit Rylan or something because he was trying to convince her to apologize to him.

Rylan: Presley, do you want the Hand of Nice or the Hand of Doom?

Presley: Hand of Doon

Rylan: Presley, are you sure you want the Hand of Doom? Just say you're sorry!

Presley: I want the Hand of Doon

Rylan: Are you sure? Just say you're sorry and you can get the Hand of Nice!

Unfortunately they moved on to something else and I never got to find out exactly what the Hand of Doom looked like. But it sounded interesting.

In other news, last night we went to the high school's homecoming parade and the kids got more candy than they do on Halloween. I tried to take a cute picture of them and this is the best I could get:

Needless to say they had a great time.

Just over 3,200 people live in Argyle and after last night I am convinced that 2,900 of them are under the age of 18. Kids everywhere. In a good way. Have I mentioned I love our new town? I just need to find some friends here. I hate being new. At Meet the Teacher night it seemed like everyone knew each other. I wanted to shout out, "Hey! I'm cool! I'm a great friend to have! Come talk to me!"

But that may have made me look like a bit of a loser so I refrained.

Oh, I have to add this regarding Meet the Teacher. The next day I was telling my mom about it and she asked, "Did you you tell her about how smart Rylan is?"

I replied, "Oh yes! I pulled the teacher aside in front of all those other parents and said, 'I just want you to know that my child is a genius!'" Because I'm that mom.

Silly Nana.

The teacher figured that out soon enough. No need to tell her.

She's Alive!

2010-09-14T16:16:00.001-07:00

I'm going to start with the obligatory sentence I have seen on many a blog:

I haven't blogged in so long, I don't know where to begin!

What have I been doing since last May, you ask?

1. Figuring out my new identity as full time working mom. Some days it was good, some days it was terrible and I didn't want to get out of bed. I am happy to say that I have finally adjusted and am doing great with this role in life I never anticipated playing.

2. Celebrated my 10 year anniversary to my wonderful husband by going to Destin with just the two of us, which was such a great time! We can't wait to take the kids.

3. Thinking about all the great material I had for this blog but since it was work-related I could not post it. That is one of the downsides to having a blog and working. I feel so censored! But I enjoy having a paycheck so I must repress myself. But I work with some colorful characters...

4. Moved to a small town in the middle of nowhere the week before school started.

Wait, what?

Yes, we did. And I love it. And it's only in the middle of nowhere if you are coming from the big city. It's really only 10-15 minutes from my regular stomping grounds so thankfully my Super Target is still the same. I'm not kidding. I hate change - I really like my Super Target shopping center.

Oh, and we lost 1,000 square feet which has been interesting. We are renting for a couple of years to save money and make sure we really want to settle down here. It's a cute little house with granite countertops and faux hardwoods. When you stand in the living room you can see the whole house. Easy to clean. It feels great to simplify...except for when I pulled out the last box in the garage and realized I literally have NO PLACE for this electric blanket.

5. Rylan started kindergarten (which was the number one reason for our move to this little area - b/c they have incredible schools) and Presley started full-time daycare.

Rylan has a great teacher and I love his school. Our town has one school of each so the entire town is full of school spirit and has a really cool community atmosphere. Everyone goes to the Friday night football game.

Presley's pre-school is in a beautiful privately-owned facility and she learns Bible stories and Bible verses every week. They do Muzzy curriculum for Spanish 3 days a week, music class, and ballet. She has adjusted very well and I feel like it's a place that she "gets" to go rather than "has" to go.

So that's us in a nutshell. I think I'm finally in a place where I can blog again. I was overwhelmed with life for a while and dropped off the radar in many ways, but I think I'm ready to come out again!

Bad Days

2010-05-22T11:35:00.000-07:00

I'm seriously having a really crappy past couple of days. And by crappy, I don't mean "serious, real life issues"...(although I kind of have those, too) but just the stupid stuff that that book would say not to sweat.

Thursday: I got pink eye. Pink eye? I'm in my thirties, my kids don't have it, what on earth? So I had to stay home for 24 hours until I was no longer contagious. Fortunately I can work from home and didn't have any appointments.

Friday: I planned to get a pedicure as soon as my 24 hour confinement was up, before I had to get the kids from the sitter's. At 1:30 I get the phone call that Rylan has a fever. No pedi for me.

Husband calls to say he won't be home till 6:30 b/c he's helping his mom get her house ready for some guests (she lives on several acres on a lake so it's a lot of work). Well, 6:30 turned into "coming home in the morning" - which it is now almost 2:00 on Saturday.

Friday 4:15am: Up with sick Rylan, followed by screams of my 2 year old, who both thankfully went right back to sleep.

6:45am: Why is it that on weekdays they sleep till 7:45 but on the one day I can sleep in they are up before 7:00???

But I knew I had a hair appointment at 1:00...it was all I had to hold on to.

So when husband called at 11:30 and said he wouldn't make it in time but his brother could keep them until he got there, didn't panic.

Got in the car at 12:30. Car won't start.

Is this a joke?

Get everyone out of the car, call brother in law who says he can come get us. Then call hair salon to tell them I'll be a few minutes late.

They didn't even have me on the schedule.

Dear God.

Call brother in law, cancel plans. Contemplate consuming large amounts of alcohol but hold off for now.

Call husband and tell him when he gets in the door I am leaving to get a pedicure. The really good kind that takes a while.

And then I'm going to Target. And I'm going to walk up and down every aisle.

And then maybe, just maybe, I'll come home in time for dinner.

Update, If you Care

2010-04-19T09:52:00.000-07:00

Wow, it has been a month since I have blogged. I knew this would happen. I've debated on whether or not to press on...

I have had many thoughts that I've wanted to put on here but alas, it was between a) blog, b) watch tv, or c) sleep. I went with the last two because they are a hot commodity these days!

But, here are some random thoughts and updates:

1. I just got back from San Antonio, where I spent 2 days learning about Christmas decorations for my job! How cool is that? I get paid to help companies choose all their fun holiday decorations. I went home with about 10 catalogs filled with sleighs, elves, snowmen, giant ornaments that hang from the ceiling, etc.

2. I flew in early for the meeting so on Wednesday night I got to lay in a comfy hotel room by myself, watch tv, and eat pizza. I could not stop smiling at my good fortune.

3. I finally hosted a Stella & Dot jewelry party this past weekend and am now in the process of picking out my free jewelry. I could buy the whole catalog, this stuff is so cute! www.stelladot.com/toreyeblen

4. I discovered the best lipstick primer - Urban Decay Lip Primer Potion. SPF 15 and it makes my lip gloss stay on thru meals. Love it!!!

5. I bought the top rated self tanner, Clarins gel, and it STILL made my knees splotchy. I give up.

6. I am currently facing two dilemmas: First, how to still have a personal life in the midst of work, t-ball practices, t-ball games, church stuff, and housekeeping. Being able to watch 45 minutes of television is now a huge treat.

7. Second dilemma - Can the battle of toothpaste in the kid's bathroom ever be won???? Toothpaste everywhere, every day. All over the counter, sink, cabinet. Save me.

I don't have time to think of a clever way to wrap this post up. I guess I'll see you when I see you. Could be tomorrow, could be next year!

Black Eyed Peas

2010-03-20T17:52:00.000-07:00

My awesome husband surprised me with tickets to the Black Eyed Peas concert, sort of as a "going back to work" gift. I could not have been more excited!

I'm not much of a concert kind of girl. Not really in to crowds. But I just love this group, and the fact that my kids go around singing "Tonight's gonna be a good night!" and "Boom Boom Pow," their music just means even more to me. I threw a couple of hints around that I would love to go see them when they came to Dallas. Guess it worked!

The concert was last night and we had such a great time! Our seats were not that good - sort of behind the stage a little - so we did what any respectable concert goer would do, right? - we worked our way down until we were on the 4th row from the left side of the stage!

And it was totally worth it!

As anyone could imagine, they are amazing entertainers. The whole show was just awesome. Sometimes Fergie Ferg would walk out on the side stage a few feet away from us, and I couldn't help but think, "This chick is my age. People would laugh their heads off if I went out and strutted around in that outfit in front of thousands of people. How does she pull it off?" Maybe I'm just weird like that. I have a hard time watching live shows (musicals or otherwise) because I spend half the time wondering about the people's real lives.

Before the concert we met up with some friends of Lance's at the bar at the W Hotel. Oh my word. The people watching.

The biggest whore scene you've ever imagined. Why do girls think they have to dress like prostitutes? Gross. I loved seeing how the gay guys dressed. Some of them looked absolutely fabulous. And they knew it.

I am so so so glad that this is not my regular scene. I am not nearly tan enough to fit in. Among several other factors.

After the concert we went to The Boardroom, where it was more of the same but not as whore-ish.

It just felt so great to go out on the town like a real grownup. We need to do it more often. I'm only 33 for Pete's sake.

Three Weeks In

2010-03-12T18:18:00.000-08:00

Wow, three weeks down at my new job and I'm feeling great!

Last week I spent a couple of days in San Antonio at the corporate office and this week I've been at an industry training conference in Atlanta. Kudos to my DH for holding down the fort! I returned to a clean house. Maybe that's because they spent the evenings at McDonalds, Chuck E Cheese, Toys R Us...Pretty sure the kids didn't miss me too much!

I didn't really get to "see" Atlanta but I had the best time! People from all over the US - and a few from London - came for this interiorscape sales training. It was so cool to get to know the pillars of the industry. I feel like I have a much better insight into what it's all about. The speaker was one of the best I've ever heard at one of these things. Not too cheesy/over the top, held my short attention span, and made everyone feel motivated and re-energized.

You know what was really cool?

Besides going out two nights in a row with all of my meals and drinks paid for?

These people only knew me as a competent professional. Not as "Rylan and Presley's Mom." And they liked me! They really liked me!

I networked and asked questions and schmoozed and listened. I am like a sponge right now, just trying to absorb as much information as humanly possible so that I can get this show on the road and start selling. And start getting those commission checks!

I promise I won't always blog about work because I know how totally boring that is. But honestly, it's the only thing going on in my head right now.

Hurray for indoor plants!!! Living Art!

Week One

2010-02-28T17:19:00.001-08:00

Just a quick update to say that the first week of my new job went very well! I was so exhausted by Friday evening. My brain was completely fried.

Three days of the week were spent wearing a non-flattering logo polo shirt following around plant technicians (two of whom I had a language barrier with), learning how to water and care for the plants. It was a good experience, but not something I want to do very often. It was so tiring walking around these huge (albeit gorgeous) buildings in downtown Dallas, taking time to care for each and every plant. And it was also strange because when you are dressed like that, the fancy schmancy business people look past you like you are invisible. I was just the "hired help." Had to swallow my pride a bit but it was good for me.

I learned more about plant names, plant care, plant everything than I ever in my life imagined I would know.

This week I'll get to delve into more of the selling aspects, which I am sooo ready for. I have to travel a couple days this week and 3 days next week.

The kids are really enjoying going to the babysitter's house. I say babysitter, but it's really a sweet lady in my church home group who has three kids, one of whom is a 4 year old boy that Rylan is having a great time playing with. Presley has been taking her naps there (thankfully!) so I am able to spend plenty of time with them in the evenings. (We are keeping them at their preschool in the mornings doing it this way; they'll have to start more of a traditional daycare this summer.)

I worked my tail off this weekend trying to get the laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc done. There was a little bit of downtime but I am realizing that I just have to be very efficient and purposeful with my time. No more putting these chores off until Monday.

So that's the scoop. In case you were wondering. In case anyone actually still reads this thing!

So Blessed

2010-02-20T11:42:00.001-08:00

Last night I went to a girl's night at a friends house where it was mostly people from our church home group, along with a couple of other friends. They surprised me by each bringing a dish I can freeze in order to help me through the full-time working mom transition! How sweet is that?!

I've got beef stroganoff, chicken spaghetti, chili, and the list goes on. I cannot tell you how excited I am about this! And how blessed it made me feel. I am so thankful to have such a great support system. I know I cannot take it for granted. I'm thankful that these mostly stay-at-home moms are not judging me for going back to work - they are instead my cheerleaders.

Another wonderful friend came over last week and used her wardrobe consultant expertise to help me build more work outfits out of the existing clothes in my closet. We took pictures of all the different combinations and now I feel like I can get through this season without having to buy a bunch of stuff. (Now spring/summer, that is a whole 'nother story. Major shopping to be done with April paychecks). If you live in the Dallas area and you need some "help" in the clothes area, my friend Tiffany is a great person to hire. And we had so much fun doing it!

So anyway, after all the casserole-giving, we watched The Time Traveler's Wife. I read the book last summer and somehow never made it to the theater to catch this movie that I've been anticipating for months. I know the reviews weren't stellar but I thought they did a very good job on translating the book to a movie. Some of the girls were confused so I was glad to be able to clear some of it up - the book was extremely confusing at first until I got the hang of the whole time travel concept. I just love Rachel McAdams. She has a glow about her. And for all of you who went to college with me - does she remind you of Gretchen with long hair?

I think I'm ready for Monday. House is extra-clean, laundry is done, clothes are ironed. As excited as I am, I am so darn sentimental that I can't help but feel a sense of sadness at the closing of a chapter in my life. I've been on the verge of tears for the past 3 days. Maybe it's just hormones.

At any rate, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Bring it on.

Two Great Things...

2010-02-18T17:19:00.001-08:00

#1 After she took a bath tonight, Presley climbed up on the potty all by herself and went pee pee in the potty. I heard the trickle and then by the time I got in there she was yelling "I did it! I did it!"

To me, potty training can't really get going until this monumental event. Now that she has gone, I feel like we can really get things started. Perfect timing (not) - new job, new babysitter, oh well. I'm just thrilled that she did it. It is so her to do it on her own when no one was sitting there prompting her.

#2 I saw on TV this morning that Spanx now has a swimsuit line!!! Just last summer I was wishing they had one. For the - ahem - low price of $178 you can have your tummy sucked in and still look very fashionable. The suits I saw were pretty cute. I guess it's a lot cheaper than a tummy tuck. This may be a splurge I will have to make. Here's a picture of the one I want. I call dibs on it to all my friends out there.

This Little Prayer of Mine

2010-02-18T08:41:00.001-08:00

Author Anthony DeStefano contacted me about doing a review of his new children's book, This Little Prayer of Mine, and I happily agreed. I was planning to purchase a copy but was thrilled when he asked for my address and a signed copy showed up via Fed Ex two days later!

Not only is it beautifully written, but the illustrations (by Mark Elliot) are gorgeous. Some of my favorite lines are:

"Whenever I feel really scared and want to hide my head,
please help me to be brave and strong and face my fears instead."

"And when my heart is very sad, and tears roll down my face,
please help me to be happy so a smile can take their place."

"Whenever I feel all mixed up, unsure of what to do,
please show me what the right path is and help me follow you."

"Whenever I feel all alone, with not a friend in sight,
please let me know you're here with me and everything's all right."

The timing of this book was so perfect because just that week I was thinking about how Rylan's bedtime prayers were all sounding the same. Thank you for this, thank you for that, etc. I had tried to explain how we can talk to God about everything - ask him for help, tell him our feelings, etc, but I could tell I wasn't doing a great job.

This book really does that. Rylan really enjoyed it and I think he really "got" it.

Endorsed by The National Day of Prayer, the book was released today so I'm sure you can find it at your nearest bookstore or on Amazon.

What happened?!

2010-02-15T12:48:00.000-08:00

I need an intervention.

I'm having a serious meltdown over here.

Everything bad I have eaten since November just showed up on the scale and my waistline today.

No, really, it did.

How did this happen? Is it because of:

a) The half a loaf of french bread with 1/4 stick of butter that I've been eating about once a week.

b) All those visits to that dang candy bowl on our kitchen counter that appeared around Halloween and has yet to go away.

c) Restaurant food (I never make good choices when I'm at a restaurant.)

d) The fact that I haven't exercised since I started working six months ago.

e) The goldfish crackers/glass of Zinfandel that I have every night around 9:00 while I'm watching TV.

f) All of the above. What did you expect, moron?

I have got to figure something out. And fast.

At least now I have some motivation. Now the question is how in the world to find time to exercise in the midst of starting a full time job and still have time to take care of the house and kids. Hmm.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-14T11:23:00.000-08:00

It doesn't really feel like today is Valentine's Day since my hubby and I celebrated it yesterday.

We unloaded our kids on my mother-in-law (and have yet to go back and get them) yesterday afternoon and then drove to Dallas. The traffic was crazy, maybe because of the NBA all star stuff going on? Every major highway was so crowded. We planned to see a movie at Northpark mall but by the time we got close to it we were too late and the parking lot looked insane anyway.

Eventually we found a movie theater and saw Valentine's Day.

Every fifteen minutes or so Lance leaned over and asked, "What's this movie about again?"

However, I liked it. He hated it but loved me enough to sit through. I wouldn't see it again, won't be buying the dvd, but it was fine.

Then we went to the biggest dive of a restaurant on Henderson called Loui's. He told me that it wasn't a place to get excited about but that they had the best pizza in Dallas, which was enough for me. But honestly, when we pulled up to it I was kind of afraid. The inside was much better and the pizza was amazing. I enjoyed the food as much as I would have at a fancy schmancy restaurant.

The weird thing about this place is that it is sooo no frills but it is packed every single night. On the side we were sitting at, there was a huge pile of boxes and a trash can in front of a bar (whose countertop was covered with random restaurant supplies) and that is where the hostess came to grab her menus. It's also where she kept her purse and jacket. Just threw them on the pile of boxes, right there in the middle of the seating area.

But no one seemed to care. Because the food is just that good.

On our way out we got hit up by a guy down on his luck to spare a few dollars, which we did. He was so nice and well spoken about it that I wasn't afraid or anything.

I feel so alive when I'm in Dallas. I don't get out there often enough. Once again we discussed the possibility of moving there some day. Unfortunately, in order to avoid paying for private school you have to live in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in Texas and pay California prices for a 1500 square foot house built in 1935. But I am tempted to do it. Or at least try it.

Maybe someday.

In other news, I just finished a great book called True Colors by Kristin Hannah. She's the one who wrote one of my all time fave books, Firefly Lane. This one took me a bit to get into, but it sucked me in and I finished reading it this morning. I know I won't get to enjoy reading for pleasure very much when I start my new job so I was glad to go on hiatus with a good one.

Well, guess I need to hop in the shower and go claim my children. I have so enjoyed laying in bed all day watching TV and reading US magazine without any interruption, save to heat up my leftover pizza and retrieve my box of thin mints from the pantry. I know what you're thinking: This girl is way too classy for me.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

One of those days

2010-02-08T14:12:00.000-08:00

This is not my favorite day.

Last night I packed my gym bag, got all mentally prepared to work out first thing this morning, and then my back pain came on again. I've been having this annoying back pain on and off for over a year, and I'm in an "on" period. I'm seeing a chiropractor tomorrow.

So anyway, I had to unpack my gym bag. I woke up this morning to a nasty, rainy day. I went out to my car only to find that someone had broken in to it and guess what they stole.

Three pairs of sunglasses.

The most painful steal was the pair of Banana Republic ones I bought 3 weeks ago with my Galleria gift card I got for Christmas. They were on sale but cost more than the $15 I usually spend at TJ Maxx. I rewarded myself for not breaking or losing a pair in several years. And they were soooo adorable! They even stole the case they came in.

The second most painful steal were the black pair of Nine West sunglasses that I bought LAST FRIDAY. I hadn't even had the chance to wear them yet! That really pissed me off.

The third pair were my cheap back-up sunglasses. No biggie.

They also stole my cd case and I'm still not sure what all was in there. Justin Timberlake for sure. Probably a Dave Matthews. A Michael W. Smith praise cd. The Wiggles (oh darn). Fortunately I downloaded all the good songs on itunes so not a huge loss. That I know of yet.

We (read: my husband) forgot to lock the car so this is just a great reminder to all. Nothing much happens in my neighborhood but I'm sure some hoodlum teenagers were just out having a good time. They also went through my husband's car and took his car charger and messed things around and threw some stuff in the yard.

Anyway, after that it took me an hour to get to work because people forget how to drive across the Lake Lewisville bridge when it rains. Ridiculous.

My other point of contention today is the fact that Presley has now gone 5 DAYS without taking a nap. I'm pretty sure it is official at this point. She is 2 1/2 and I thought we had more time. Is it bad that this makes the thought of going back to work full time a little less painful? The down side is that if she doesn't take a nap, she'll be ready to go to bed earlier in the evening, which is when I'll want to spend time with her. I guess we'll have to figure it out.

The kids are playing pretty well together though. I'm trying to get the point across to her that if she doesn't take a nap, I am not going to be there to entertain her with a song and dance for the entire afternoon. And on the upside, she doesn't wake up from her naps all grumpy, and I don't have to walk on eggshells upon her first hour of awakening while she cries for no reason. That, I won't miss.

So that's my day. Aren't you glad you wasted the last 5 minutes of your life listening to me complain? Sorry about that.

Change (and I don't mean nickles)

2010-02-04T10:14:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have an announcement.

After MUCH deliberation, searching, interviewing, and praying, I have taken a full-time job in outside sales.

Just writing that makes it seem so...real.

My feelings on this?

Excited. Nervous. Secure. Sad. Scared. The list could go on.

Being a full-time working mom was not my "life plan." But then I grew up and realized that we don't always get to decide our life plan. Sometimes life doesn't unfold quite the way you assumed it would and you have to change course. And sometimes, if you are lucky, this will bring even greater blessing to your life than the course you had planned. I'm hoping that will be the case for me.

The job itself is going to be pretty cool - I'll be a sales and design consultant for an interiorscape company. What is interiorscape, you ask? Well, when you walk into a hotel, hospital, mall, etc and you see all the pretty trees and plants everywhere? That's interiorscaping.

I'll also get to work with clients on their holiday decor, like with the big Christmas trees and other fun decorations. I have to learn to identify about 60 plants and then match them with hundreds of beautiful containers in order to help companies beautify their spaces with "living art." I think I'm going to love it.

So. If you have any "working mom" tips, such as easy weeknight recipes and such, please pass them along. Going back to work won't be a total shock to the system since I've been working part-time for the past six months, but getting home after 5:00 will definitely be an adjustment. Then throw in a baseball practice, game, and other weeknight activities and that's when I get a little stressed.

Will I ever be able to read a book again? Can I keep up with my favorite television shows? And will I still be able to keep up with this blog?!

And the more serious question, Will I still be able to be a good mom and give my kids what they need?

I sure hope so.

Random Thoughts

2010-01-19T14:23:00.000-08:00

I can't really seem to write about anything until I at least mention the horrible situation going on in Haiti. Some of the things I have read - especially the stories about the babies and children and elderly - are so horrible that if I start crying I'm afraid I won't be able to stop. I wish I could do so much more than text my $10 to the Red Cross.

So yes, I am praying, and hope you will continue to do the same. And I don't think I can ever complain about my life and what I don't have, ever again.

In the middle of watching such devastation and loss of life, there are two new precious babies in my life.

The first is my sweet niece, my brother's first baby, named Piper. I saw her again last Saturday and she was smiling and cooing at me, and I got all verklempt. She is just gorgeous...

And then yesterday, my BFF of twelve years had her baby girl, River Grace. She lives 6 hours away and it is killing me that I can't just stop by the hospital and see her! I'll be planning a road trip in a couple of months...

I titled this Random Thoughts, didn't I? Well, my next random thought is "Have you seen the People magazine issue with Heidi and all her plastic surgery???"

She is 23 and just had 10 procedures done, including a brow lift and Botox in her forehead. You know, because she looked so OLD. She had her second breast augmentation and is now a DDD, which was the largest they could do this time. But she can't wait to go in and get them even bigger. Wha??? My dear "sister in Christ," WTH?

Moving on, I am so, so excited that the new season of Millionaire Matchmaker begins tonight on Bravo! I LOVE this show!

Also, I wanted to mention how fun my Friday night was since I rarely get a real night out on the town. My husband and son were on a Father/Son retreat with church, and Presley went to my parents for the night. One of my besties and I had fondue (we were there for 3 hours, have no idea where the time went) and then went to see my all-time favorite improv group called Four Day Weekend in Sundance Square, Fort Worth.

This is where I have to give a shout out to my friend Jenn (holla!). We used to go see them when we were in college and I had a major crush on Frank. Something about his lips. And one time he flirted with me during the show and I turned all shades of red but secretly loved it. Anyway, Jenn, Frank is still in the show. So is the hottie emcee. They are just as great as they were a million years ago.

But that night I was reminded of why I don't stay out late very often (besides the fact that I have two little kids, but I like to think it's a choice, ha!). I got home at 1am, was so wired that I didn't fall asleep until 2:30, and then my internal clock went off at 6:45 and I could not go back to sleep. Which is really annoying when you have the entire house to yourself and no reason to be up. So I made my coffee and watched Greys and Private Practice. Which are both getting kind of tired, don't you think?

Joe's Response

2010-01-13T18:08:00.000-08:00

I got this response from Joe's Crabshack today.

Ms. Wilson,

Thank you very much for your feedback and interest in Joe’s Crab Shack. We value your opinions and appreciate you taking the time to express your thoughts regarding our promotional television advertisements.

In response to your feedback, we would like to emphasize that the intention of the advertising campaign is to dramatically demonstrate and find humor in real life moments, both those that are expected and unexpected. The idea behind this commercial was to illustrate a real parenting situation – kids parroting back what you say. This is a situation that many parents have found themselves in and for those parents that are less than perfect, it is a learning moment that is humbling. Joe’s Crab Shack is intended to be a fun, relaxed atmosphere where our guests can be themselves and let their guard down. Our advertisements and sponsorships are in no way intended to be offensive or disrespectful, but more to offer a genuine promise of a good time and a great meal at Joe’s Crab Shack. In addition, please note that these children did not use any actual offensive language. These children (and the adults) used the word “sheet”.

Thank you, again. We’re always interested in your comments, ideas, and feedback about Joe’s Crab Shack and will take into consideration your comments as we develop future advertisements. If you have further feedback or concerns, please contact me at the number below.

Sincerely,

xxxxx

Well, I guess that "sheet" and the other word are pretty much the same when you hear the "sh" and the "t" and they bleep out the "i" sound. Good to know the child actors aren't saying a bad word though. I still think the commercial is tacky.

The Bachelor

2010-01-12T18:29:00.000-08:00

I made it for a few years without watching this train wreck of a show, and then I started watching it last season with Jillian because there was literally nothing else on television. Which is how I got sucked back in. Now this season I have to watch since bachelor Jake lives ten minutes away from me, right across the street from one girl I know, and catty corner backyards with another. I know, I have connections. Jealous?

I'm not even going to try to blog about this because there are three other great places to go to get your fill if you are into that sort of thing. For some annoying reason Blogger is not letting my links work so you will have to cut and paste until I can figure out what it's deal is.

Chris Harrison's blog, http://popwatch.ew.com/author/ewchrisharrison/
It was very interesting to hear what he had to say about all the drama that happened last night.

www.ihategreenbeans.com
This girl named Lincee from Houston does the best full length recaps every week. For me it is almost as fun to read those as it is to watch the actual show!

www.realitysteve.com
Somehow I did not know anything about this blog, but apparently he is from Dallas and is dead on with his predictions on all things Bachelor. I read it last week and everything he said that would happen this week, did. But I will warn you - he lists who the last 4 are and tells us the winner. I think he's probably correct, although I was pretty surprised.

So there you go.

Character Clothes

2010-01-11T17:09:00.001-08:00

I'm sort of a snob when it comes to the kids wearing character clothes. I restrict them to pajamas. Not shoes, not shirts. Underwear is fine.

My mom knows this about me. She has bought them character clothes anyway. I'm pretty sure she gets a big kick out of doing it. Last year she got Rylan these tacky Lightning McQueen crocs that of course he loved and wanted to wear every single day. Which complimented his Wal-Mart special Lightning McQueen t-shirt given to him by his other grandmother.

But - this year we found a way around it. Gap Kids (with the Junk Food brand) and Old Navy had some really great vintage looking character shirts this year. Guess how many Rylan has now, and that's with me buying only one. Ten. Ten superhero shirts, thanks to his shopaholic Nana. We've got them all covered and then some. But he loves them, and they are cool. Not at all like the Wal-Mart character shirts of old.

Presley got a cute Cinderella tee for Christmas and I snagged this picture of them this morning before school (and this is the first time I have done her hair in pigtails - it was so stinkin hard to get her to sit still!). This Star Wars one isn't my favorite but it's still better than the alternative.

World Vision

2010-01-11T13:09:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure that I signed up for one of the greatest things in the world yesterday.

My family is going to sponsor a little boy named Noel, who is almost the exact same age as Rylan (5 years old, July birthday) and lives in Tanzania. World Vision came to my church yesterday and though I have known about them for a long time, I just never really thought about making that kind of commitment. There are very few organizations I would trust with our money, but World Vision is one, and they make sure that something like 87% goes to the child.

There was a table set up that had tons of cards with children's pictures to choose from, but I picked Noel because I wanted a little boy the same age as Rylan. When we got home I told him I had some exciting news and showed him the picture.

I began to describe the living conditions that Noel probably lived in: no real house, probably a grass hut with dirt floor. No running water - the card said Noel enjoys going to get the water from the wells. No toy stores, very few - if any - real toys. No restaurants or grocery stores like we have here. If his mom makes something for dinner and he doesn't like it, there is not a kitchen for him to find something else to eat. They don't have a candy bowl. They don't have lights to turn on and off. They don't have a faucet or bath tub when they need water.

He was absolutely mesmerized. I told him that we were going to help send money to Noel and his family because the people where he lived didn't have very much money and a lot of them were getting very, very sick because they didn't have the right kind of medicine (AIDS). Also that we could pray for Noel and write him letters.

One of his first thoughts was that we needed to send him some candy. (Unfortunately you can only send what will fit in a 6x9 envelope, so maybe some sticks of gum?). As the day went on, he would ask me random questions like

"Does Noel's parents have nail clippers?"
"Does Noel have Mario Kart?"
"Does Noel have bubbles in his bath?"

And after I told him more about how Noel probably lived, he said, "I don't know if I believe you." He just couldn't get over that someone could live so differently than what he is used to. Which is exactly why we are doing this.

I am not the world's best at volunteering, charity, and looking beyond my own selfish self, but I really want to get better. I want my kids to know that there is a whole world out there that God made - people that God loves just as much as us - and we need to help them.

We're supposed to get a packet in the mail in a week or two with more info about Noel and his family. I am so excited about this and I really hope it makes a big impact on our whole family.

If you want to find out more about this particular organization, go to www.worldvision.org.

Losing My Mind

2010-01-10T16:30:00.000-08:00

When I kissed my husband good night last Sunday, I had no idea I wouldn't see him again until tomorrow night - 8 days later. But that is how it worked out. And this mamma is losing her mind.

He didn't technically fly out to California until Wednesday, but with me leaving the house at the crack of dawn to get to work, and him getting home after I've gone to bed because of his work schedule, I never saw him in the days in between.

I am exhausted. On top of that, Presley got sick on Friday (of course she did - someone almost always gets sick when Daddy is out of town!) so we were pretty much home bound all weekend. And did I mention it has been, like, 5 degrees outside?

I don't know about you, but I don't want to play with my kids more than maybe a couple of hours a day, tops. I can only play imaginary games for so long. But when you are the only parent around and you are stuck at home, guess who gets asked to play every second of every day? (God bless all you single moms out there!!!)

Rylan's favorite thing to do right now (besides Mario Kart) is play Grocery Store. Presley got a shopping cart, kitchen, cash register, and fake food for Christmas, but I knew that Rylan would probably be the one who enjoyed playing with it the most. (Which is why Santa brought these items in gender neutral colors instead of the cute pink variety!)

It's a great learning game - we all three have our roles. Presley puts her baby in the cart and carries her little purse with her money in it. Rylan helps me make the list and then acts as the grocer and rings up/bags our groceries. I beg Presley for things like ice cream and popcorn. Rylan tries to act all professional and really gets into it, saying "Well hello! You are my first customers today! How are you doing?" and I ask him to help us find the lettuce, the soup, etc. He just loves it. And wants to play it over and over and over. Kind of mind-numbing after a while.

In the times that I have been able to silently sit on the couch and read a book while they entertain themselves, I read Dune Road by Jane Green. I really liked it, although I was surprised at how poorly edited it was. It repeated several descriptive paragraphs and motivations of the characters in more than a couple of places. And while I understand the author is British, this novel is set in Connecticut and yet the vernacular was British. It was "mum" instead of mom, and "rang her up" instead of "called her," things like that. It was just sort of annoying to me that they didn't bother to change it. But other than that I enjoyed it.

Last night I rented The Accidental Husband with Uma Thurman and that cutie Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and of course my true love, Colin Firth (though he's a bit older than his Pride and Prejudice days, bless his heart). All I can say is that more than one time during the 90 minutes it was on I had the thought of how these actors must have really needed a paycheck. The script was awful. I didn' t hate it - but it wasn't good. But I'll take a romantic comedy that isn't totally raunchy pretty much any day. There are so few goods ones now that it's hard to be too picky.

Tomorrow is Monday. Daddy comes back tomorrow night. I think I can make it until then.

Joe's Bleepin Commercial

2010-01-06T17:58:00.000-08:00

Have you guys seen this atrocious Joe's Crab Shack commercial where they have kids (and parents) exclaiming "S#$t!" and poorly bleeping it out?

I was folding clothes watching Oprah when this piece of trash aired. I've talked to lots of other moms who are as disgusted by it as I am. I'm not generally one to boycott places or send letters, but I was so appalled by this commercial (because of the use of children in this manner) that I just fired off a little email to them:

Are you KIDDING me with that commercial you guys are airing? Who in the world is your ad agency? I cannot tell you how many moms I have talked to who are as appalled as I am over the children and adults in your commercials saying poorly bleeped profanity.

And now we get to try to answer our kids when they innocently ask what those kids are saying. We will not be dining at your restaurants in the future.

I get that you want to be edgy, but find a better way to do it. You don't have to be tacky and use children in that manner. I can't believe that a group of educated adults sat at a conference room table, saw this commercial idea, and actually gave it the green light. Unbelievable.

Your thoughts?

Plans

2010-01-06T16:39:00.000-08:00

Someone gave me a "Mom's Plan It" calendar for Christmas and today I've been working on getting it filled out. Does anyone else get a high off of this? It's a pretty cool little calendar, albeit rather large. There's a line for each family member for each day and it comes with tons of little stickers like Game Day, Picture Day, Vacation, Last Day of School, etc.

I enjoy having plans, being able to write things in on the calendar. Now as for actually attending those said plans...maybe not so much. I can be sort of a homebody sometimes. Especially when it is freezing cold outside. I am sooo over this weather. I'm thinking we need to look at relocating to Florida. Maybe Hawaii.

I heard some really sad news today. A 12 year old boy who goes to my church was killed in a car accident yesterday right after school. His older brother was in the car and is recovering. I think the funeral will be Saturday. I don't know this family, but my heart just breaks for them. And I can't get this thought out of my mind:

What did that mom have on her calendar this week? Did they have a big basketball game? A birthday party? A big science project to work on?

When she was filling out her calendar I am sure that never in her wildest dreams did she imagine that those days would be filled with picking out a casket and attending her son's funeral.

I'm no stranger to death. We've seen a lot of it around here. Lance's brother and dad have both died since we've been married. I've learned to really appreciate the time I have with those I love. But when a child dies... it just takes my breath away. And the next breath I find, I am pleading with God not to let it happen to my family.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T04:48:00.000-08:00

Wow, I woke up early this morning. 4:45a.m. I heard Rylan kick a cardboard brick across the room as he was scurrying downstairs (his nightly ritual, arghh) and it jolted me awake and that is when I began this blessed Christmas Eve.

Lots to do and I just heard it's supposed to snow today. Hopefully that won't mess with our drive to my parent's house where the kids will get a haul as big as the one on Christmas morning. After all that I think we are laying low the rest of the day. Making cookies for Santa, playing with toy haul #1, opening the gifts under the tree, etc.

Tomorrow we'll do the Santa thing and then head out to my mother-in-law's for a small family gathering. Saturday morning we are leaving for Hot Springs to see Lance's grandmom and some extended family and coming back Sunday after lunch. Not too excited about the road trip with the kids but it will be worth it.

This has been a strange week. I worked Mon-Wed while Lance stayed home with the kids. I was so thankful to be able to have a job, and that one of us could be at home with the kids while they are out of pre-school, but it was still strange. Here were their lunches for the week: Monday- McDonalds. Tuesday-Sonic. Wednesday - Mama's Pizza. And twice he took them to the store and bought them a toy. Daddy is MUCH more fun than mommy!

But in the evenings we have been doing fun things and having some great family time. Sunday we went to the Gaylord Texan (preceeded by Chuck E Cheese) and went to the ICE! exhibit. That's a whole 'nother story. In a nutshell, got there at 6:30 for our 7pm tickets, only to have to wait in line until 8:30. And I left my camera in my other purse at home. Got some documentation through my iPhone camera but the quality is lacking.

Last night we took the kids to a Dallas Stars hockey game. We had free tickets through a friend, which was good because the kids only lasted one period, as expected. We got there early so they could get up close and watch them warm-up. They both thought it was pretty cool. And then Rylan starts laughing and says, "Look! Presley's on TV!" She was on the Jumbo Tron and I looked up too late to see it, dang. After the hot dog, nachos, and popcorn ran out it was time to go home.

So here's some pics of our Christmas season. I hope everyone out there has a wonderful Christmas and that you remember why we have this holiday in the first place. It's so easy to forget in the midst of all the craziness.

Elf Games

2009-12-18T14:49:00.001-08:00

It seems that most everyone we know is in on the whole Elf on the Shelf game, so this part isn't news. If you somehow missed out on the elf phenomenon, there are about 3 different kinds of elves you can buy (the most popular being the Elf on the Shelf that I've seen at places like Barnes and Noble and Hallmark). He watches over the kids during the day and at night he flies back to the North Pole to report to Santa about the kid's behaviors that day.

So every morning, the kids go looking to see where "Elfie" landed. Sometimes he's on top of the chandelier, some days on the mantel, and every few days he decides that he's comfortable where he was the day before so he stays in the same place (a.k.a., parents forgot to move the thing).

But what I wanted to tell you about was the website, www.elfontheshelf.com. This site is so very cool! I spent 45 minutes playing with Rylan the other night on this thing. There's cute videos and you get to take a tour of the North Pole, and in each room there are games and activities. Some are computer games and some are crafts and recipes to make on your own.

There's the Reindeer Stables, the School House, Santa's Workshop, Mrs. Claus' kitchen, and more. Some of the favorite games were dressing the elves, decorating cookies, and trimming a Christmas tree. The graphics and animation are truly amazing.

Oh, and now as I just went to the Gift Shop to find a picture for this blog, I noticed they have an elf skirt for $7.00. Great idea! I know some people that have an elf for each child so this would be a good way to distinguish them for my kids.

Anyway, I hope everyone is enjoying their holidays! I finally got into the Christmas spirit a week or so ago. Just in the St. Nick of time. (okay, that was lame.)

Potty Humor

2009-12-09T17:06:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have days where you love your kids a little extra for no particular reason? Today is one of those days for me.

This morning I had a bit of an emotional breakdown as I sat at my desk at work at 7:30a.m.

Most days I am just fine with the set-up of my husband getting the kids up and ready for school, but today it just wasn't working for me. I called him crying by 8:00, asking him to put each of them on the phone and then making sure he had them put on their heavier coats since it was really cold today.

I just wanted to be there, to be the one getting their breakfasts, to be the one driving them to preschool and walking them to their classes. The good news is that I got to pick them up at 1:00 and see them the rest of the day/night, so I don't know what I was blubbering about. Just one of those days.

Anyhow, when I got home at 1:30, my wonderful DH had cleaned the house top to bottom and had completed some of those honey-do tasks that have been on the list for a while. The candles were lit and everything just looked so perfect. It was the best thing anyone could have done for me today. My own little Christmas miracle! So instead of having to spend the afternoon cleaning up the house, I cuddled up next to Rylan and watched cartoons and drank hot chocolate.

As for the title of my post, here's what happened to me last night.

I was at Rylan's Christmas program at school (where he recited his lines without a hitch!) and as luck would have it, Presley had a poopy diaper about 3 minutes before the program was set to begin.

I dashed into the restroom, where door was propped all the way opened, immediately spotted the diaper changing thingie on the wall, and spent about five minutes getting her all cleaned up. A man walks in and looks surprised to see me. He steps out, looks at the sign again, and says, "Yes, I have the right one," and walks into the stall. Oh my gosh. I have been in the men's restroom for the past 5 minutes. I look behind me. Yep, there's the urinals.

I had seen people sort of look in at me but I didn't think much of it. Now I know why.

Nice.

And the next thought I had was: At least now I'll have something to write about on my blog.

Here's my handsome boy. But I told him not to zip that sweater all the way up to the top because it made him look like a nerd. Guess who won that battle. And of course about 5 other kids were wearing the same sweater from Children's Place since it was on sale this week for $10. Oh well. I don't figure US Weekly will feature the pics in their "Who Wore It Best" column.

Here we are before the show. Kind of a weird picture of me.

Lessons I Learned from Watching Rudolph

2009-12-07T18:19:00.000-08:00

Every year since I was about 4 years old I have watched the beloved TV special, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. But the past couple of years I have noticed a few things.

1. Santa is a jerk. Do you remember the scene where he meets Rudolph for the first time and he tells his parents they should be ashamed? Seriously? What a jackass.

2. Santa only decided to accept Rudolph’s nose when he found a use for it, a.k.a., to light the way through the storm.

3. Adults can be really mean, too. The reindeer flying coach and Clarice’s dad were as bad as the kids. And don’t get me started on the Elf boss. He started that nasty gossip chain amongst the elves, “Herbie doesn’t like to make toys!” So immature and intolerant.

4. This next point actually came from my five-year old son. He said, “Who made the misfit toys? Didn’t the elves make them? Why did they mess up?” Indeed. So the elves screwed up and then, what, shipped the misfit toys off to some remote island? Nice.

5. Santa really weighs about 150 pounds during the year, but gains about 200 more on Christmas Eve after Mrs. Claus feeds him a big supper.

6. My son has no use for the Snowman narrator, just like me when I was a kid, proving that the Burl Ives Snowman Bore Factor is timeless.

7. A reindeer can get the doe despite having an ugly fake black nose and a funny sounding voice. It’s all about the personality. Just like in real life.

Norman Rockwell Was Delusional

2009-11-30T14:46:00.000-08:00

First off, I know I have been slacking on keeping up with this blog. Honestly, if this were an anonymous blog, I would have so much great material! But it is not. And I’ve really had nothing to write that has fit within the “share with the entire universe” boundaries.

Thanksgiving came and went. I’m not a big turkey and casserole fan, but nevertheless it was a relaxing day. I did my early Black Friday morning shopping at Toys R Us and Wal-mart and was home by 8am.

I’m not in the holiday spirit this year. Maybe it’s because I have a lot going on in my life, but I’m just kind of ho-hum about it all. Putting up the decorations was a total beating and did not fit my image of the Norman Rockwell paintings whatsoever.

We pulled all the stuff out on Friday afternoon. Rylan was looking at it all in amazement, as if he hasn’t seen the exact same decorations for the past 5 years. He kept asking, “Where did you get all this???”

I have collected Snowbabies since I was in college (not really my style anymore but they really are pretty cute so I put them out every year). They go on the window seat in my kitchen. The entire time I was putting them out I had to yell at my kids, “Don’t touch that!” “Put that down!” “Look with your eyes, not with your hands!”

I mean, they are breakable. I’m not trying to suck the fun out of it. I just don’t want them to crash all over the tile floor.

We had big plans to put up the tree on Saturday night. This was such a fun experience when I used to do this by myself and I always had either festive Christmas music playing or my favorite holiday movies on in the background. I longed for the day I could do it with my kids.

Here’s how it looked in reality.

My DH decides on the way home from somewhere at 5:00 that we should both make and decorate sugar cookies AND do the tree. Say what? That was not on my schedule. And I do not like having my schedule changed. (Control freak that I am).

So he spends half an hour at the store getting stuff for the cookies. I let him be in charge and it was really sweet watching him teach the kids how to cut the cookies out of the dough, etc. I am not good at that. But come on, people. Now the kitchen is a disaster and we are way behind schedule.

So now it’s almost 7:00 and we pull the tree inside the house from the garage.

Problem number one. Cannot get the stand to fold out correctly. Had to bend it into shape and cross our fingers that it worked.

Problem number two. I cannot figure out these lights. Which ones plug into which strands…it was a mess. Of course I threw the directions away last year. We got it all worked out until we reached the top, at which point we finally gave up and connected a big green extension cord that now runs down the back of my Christmas tree. I really don’t care at this point.

Did I mention that Presley has been a giant mess for the past several days?

So through all this ho ho holiday fun she is crying and clinging to my leg and saying “I hold you!” over and over again.

At this point it is 7:35 and I gave her a 60 second bath and put her straight to bed. I came back downstairs and started working on fluffing out all the branches. By 8:30 my arms are tired and I am so beat.

So I plopped on the couch next to my husband, who has been watching some football game this whole time. Not exactly It’s a Wonderful Life.

Sunday afternoon I mustered up all my strength and energy and finished trimming the tree. My five year old “helped” me and I tried really hard not to yell at him as he put every single ornament on the bottom branches.

The highlight was watching him pull out a $2 Superman ornament and shriek with excitement. I wish I were so easy to please!

Now the decorations are out, most of the presents are bought…and I feel…Nothing.

I hate being Grinch-like. Maybe it will come to me soon.

NOT a Compliment

2009-11-12T09:23:00.000-08:00

Some people - guys especially - are just really ignorant.

This morning I'm sitting in my office, minding my own business. This guy comes in and talks to my co-worker across the hall, and I can tell he keeps looking at me. We knew each other from about 10 years ago when we both went to the single's group at the church I work for.

I really was not in the mood to talk so I didn't really act like I noticed him. Too bad for me. He says, "Hey, weren't you in the singles group a while back?" and I'm all, "Yeah! Hey, are you the guy that lived with so and so?" blah blah blah. And do you know what he says?

"I thought that was you but you are about half your size now!"

Huh?????

And I gave him a look that said, "Oh my gosh...did you REALLY just say that?"

So he says, "I mean, your face is just all tight [did unhelpful hand motions pulling his face back to demonstrate] and you just look really healthy."

Oh, thanks. Because that sounds so much better.

For the record, I weighed 10 pounds more than I do now. I went from 110 to 100. I was such a fattie, geez.

In my early twenties I did not know how to eat. That, plus I had baby fat that literally just dropped off around the time I got married. My friends were astonished, everyone wanted to know what my secret was...I have no real explanation. I started working out and making better food choices. Yet, when I stopped working out (after the wedding was over, of course) the weight never came back. I've had 2 kids and it's still the same. The stomach's not, but that's a whole different issue reserved for a discussion with my future tummy tuck surgeon.

I, for one, pretty much never comment on a person's weight. Kind of like I don't comment to a pregnant stranger about the fact that they are pregnant unless they are literally giving birth. It's just too risky.

A simple "You look great!" will do just fine.

Real Housewives of OC is Back!

2009-11-05T10:21:00.000-08:00

I just remembered that Real Housewives of Orange County starts back up tonight! I'm so excited! But seriously, did all the TV executives get together and decide to put every single show I watch on the same night? Thank goodness we have three DVRs. I mean, really.

I did watch the premiere of V on Tuesday night and loved it! I am a closet sci fi geek - that would probably surprise a lot of people. I had to drag my husband to the Star Wars prequels through the years. And I was on my own when the Lord of the Rings movies came out.

I am dragging today. Four hours of sleep last night. I've been awake since 4:50am and am now about out of steam. It was a combination of getting woken up when Rylan went to the restroom and then laying there for 3 hours while I pondered all of my life's problems, and then two hours after I finally fell back asleep the same child woke up with an earache. I just couldn't ever turn my brain back off after that. (But he woke up feeling fine, thank goodness.)

1.5 hours until the crazy girl naps and hopefully I can at least shut my eyes! I have lots of TV watching to do tonight! It's all about priorities.

Strange But Serious Question

2009-10-30T16:23:00.000-07:00

Last night at bath time Presley starting pinching her little - here's where my dilemma is, not sure what to call them - I guess her titties? and she was very curious about them. She said, "What's dis called???"

I totally drew a blank. You totally hear about what to call the other, but it has never crossed my mind to have a name for these.

So I'm asking, what do you tell kids this is called? I really want to know.

Hoodlums

2009-10-27T17:25:00.000-07:00

Before I get to the McDonald's story I have to mention that this afternoon we were in Target and Presley points to a doormat that has Santa on it and says:

"There's Jesus!"

For the record, we go to church most Sundays, read from a children's Bible at home, and she attends a Christian Mother's Day Out. Not sure where the disconnect happened. Hmmm.

Anyway, on Sunday after church I took the kids to McDonald's since Daddy had to work. Presley was on the toddler slide when these two brothers, about 5 and 7, surround her and point their new Happy Meal Astro Boy toy at her and the older one says, "Shoot her!" and before I realize what was going on they launched their little plastic poles.

Rylan, about the same time as they were getting ready to aim, shoot, and fire, says, "That's my baby sister! Don't shoot at her!"

But they did anyway and they were ready to go for round two (by now Presley was looking more than a little uneasy) when I said, "Hey, that's my baby, and you may not shoot at her."

Let me also just mention here that these boys were looking at her with the most menacing looks and it really rubbed me the wrong way. They were literally ganging up on my little two-year-old girl.

So the older one gives me a really nasty look and says, "You're not the boss of me."

The grownup who brought this brat was not eating in the play area. I pretty much growled back, "I'm the boss when it comes to this baby, and you will NOT shoot her. If you have a problem with that you need to go talk to your parent."

A random dad sitting nearby said, "That's right!"

I stood in front of the play area the rest of the time and they just kept trying to push the envelope - they'd go right up near her to try to prove a point, daring me to say something. We left about 5 minutes later.

Stupid mean kids.

Weekend Update

2009-10-26T17:08:00.000-07:00

So on Saturday I almost thought I had officially become "that mom." The flaky, lost-her-brain, undependable kind of mom. The kind I swore I'd never be.

We got Rylan's soccer schedule at the beginning of the season and I wrote all the times in on both my paper calendar and my phone. I knew the game this week was at noon, so at 11:52 we walk onto the soccer fields and look around for his team. No sign of them. After a few minutes we went to the concession stand to look at their schedule. Our team played at 10am.

Oh crap.

I screwed up.

And since we had to miss a practice and the last game due to Rylan's swine flu I really felt bad. There's only 5 kids on the team and 4 have to be on the field so it is exhausting when everyone's not there.

I literally felt sick. Rylan didn't seem to mind too much, so that was good. But Lance had driven all the way home from Arlington where he was doing some work just to go to the game and then planned to drive back. Wasted trip.

We got home and I looked at the calendar on the fridge. I was exonerated! The schedule says noon!!! Hurray!!! Then, of course, I became indignant.

I re-read the coach's email from Thursday saying practice was rained out (again) and saw a little mention of "Game at 10, field 5"at the very bottom, which did not grab my attention since there was no mention of a time change.

Turns out the coach lost the schedule she passed out to us so she goes to the league's website each week for the time of the game and apparently they changed it. Somehow I'm the only person who missed out on this fact, which is still beyond me.

Sometimes you just can't win.

I'll save my McDonald's story for tomorrow. I had to get medieval on a couple of hoodlums. Still getting worked up when I think about it. But right now I have to go give some baths.

Still Alive

2009-10-21T08:01:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to say that Yes, I am still alive.

Rylan had swine flu and then got a secondary infection. About the time he was recovering a week later, I came down with a nasty cold/cough and have been rendered incapable of an original thought, much less anything interesting enough to post in this blog.

So bear with me, hopefully I'll be back to my normal self in the next few days.

Little Moments

2009-10-10T17:51:00.000-07:00

After yesterday's doomsday posting I figured I needed to follow it up with something more positive. This is mostly for my own personal records since I don't really write these things down any place else.

In the midst of all the rain, sickness, and boredom of the week, here are some memorable moments that I hope to store inside my memory so that I can retrieve them when my sweet angels turn into teenage hellions with major attitudes.

1. Presley has been wearing my black hoodie sweatshirt (actually, it has been wearing her) with the hood on her head and looking like the Grim Reaper. And she has to wear this each and every time she watches the Ralph's World DVD while she dances around to the songs. We have played this 14 minute video about 30 times or more this week. Excuse me, that's 30 times PER DAY. But she is just so darn cute while doing it. And getting some great exercise, too.

2. Rylan was showing me a family project he made at school. He pointed to each picture and said, "First, you're a baby. Then you grow to a kid. And then, (pointing to a picture of an adult) you turn into a human!" Well put.

3. Presley was looking into the Viewfinder that had a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse disc inside, and she kept squealing "Hi Mickey Mouse! Hi Mickey Mouse!" She was so excited. You probably had to be there.

4. I was getting ready to make them quesadillas for dinner tonight and Presley was shrieking with delight. Then she saw the candy bowl and said very seriously, "Mommy, I don't want a quesadilla. I just need a sucker."

5. Tonight the four of us were on the bed with the kids bouncing all around us (Rylan was on an upswing moment of his flu) and they were laughing hysterically and having a ball. My husband said to me, "Is this what you always dreamed about?" half sarcastic/half serious. And I had a flashback of sitting on this same bed seven years ago, crying my eyes out because I wanted kids so badly and was told it would be a hard road to get them due to fertility issues.

In the midst of all the "blah," my heart is so grateful. I hope I don't ever forget how lucky I truly am.

Blah

2009-10-09T17:52:00.001-07:00

"Blah" pretty much sums up my week.

First of all, it has been raining here in the Dallas metroplex for like 40 days and 40 nights. Or something like that. Weather really affects my mood - is it just me? I hate that. I need sun. I would do so well in California. Except for all the fires, earthquakes, and mudslides. Never mind.

Second, the sick season is here. It's that time of year when you hold your plans loosely because chances are someone in your family is going to get sick and mess up said plans.

I was down for the count on Wednesday. It wasn't all bad though - it was a stomach bug that kept me home from work, but I was able to enjoy a quiet house while the kids were in school. I watched a movie on cable at 9:30 in the morning, gotta love that. I was fine by that night.

This morning I got all ready to drop Rylan off at school and go to the gym (2 weeks left on my membership) and run a couple errands. Fridays are my favorite - no work (meaning I can actually wake up naturally instead of at the crack of dawn), Presley/mommy alone time, Rylan's martial arts class at 5:00, then usually a high school football game with the fam. I packed his lunch, got everything together, went up to his room at 8:15 (unheard of for him, he's more like a 6:45 guy) and quickly discovered that he was sick. Mostly just fever/laying around.

So I took off my gym clothes and put my flannel pants and fuzzy socks on. I haven't stepped out of the house all day. I am going stir crazy.

You know what the hardest part of this day was, other than trying to stay sane? Trying to "be there" for my sick 5 year old when my needy 2 year old cries if I go into another room. I felt so guilty all day long because she demanded my full attention, pulling me from here to there. He was fine and I tried to give him spurts of attention when I could, but still.

And I've had a sore throat all day and that usually precedes some sort of nasty illness so I'm preparing myself. Hopefully not.

Also, I'm just so bored. I told my husband that I need something really fun to look forward to. And by fun, I don't mean a soccer game. He said, "Well, Christmas is almost here." It's not even mid-October, that's not really what I had in mind.

About an hour later he tells me that his friend is having a big 40th birthday party at this fancy restaurant in Dallas followed by everyone staying at a nice hotel. Now that's what I am talking about. A reason to get dressed up! An adult party at a non-kid-friendly locale! Yes! Why didn't you say so!

Of course, someone will probably get sick.

I Gotta Get Me Some Winkers

2009-10-03T18:22:00.001-07:00

You know how much I love my designer jeans? Well, I just discovered this new brand that is totally going to transform the denim industry. We're talking a major jean revolution here. I've got to figure out who carries these...Saks? Neimans? Check out this video...

The Geek Made Good

2009-09-30T17:20:00.000-07:00

Back in my junior/senior years of high school I had to pick up and drop off this total dork sophomore that was in my youth group. I can't remember why or who made the arrangement. Either my mom made me do it or there was money involved. But it was bad enough that I had to drive around in this 1985 two-toned gray Dodge Omni with the sagging maroon headliner (we're talking it would touch the top of your head!). No one wanted to ride to lunch with me. They all wanted to ride with my fun friend Jennifer, who drove a red LeBaron Convertible. I didn't want to ride with me.

But I digress.

The point is, I didn't need anymore help in feeling un-cool, and now I had to deal with this geek and I think his geek friend. I'm pretty sure I was totally stuck up and rude to them and probably made them get out of the car before we got to the student parking lot. I didn't possess the self-esteem to handle the situation with more grace during this chapter of my life.

Flash-forward 17 years later and I stumble upon this guy's website. He's a musician in Austin, singing and playing the guitar and looking, well, not geekish at all. Pretty darn cute actually. And in some of the pictures he's wearing True Religion jeans. He definitely graduated from Nerdville.

So who's laughing now? (Well, me, actually, because I can't get over the transformation!)

Hair Drama

2009-09-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

I've always said that no matter how poor I may be, I will always have good hair and designer jeans. Even if it means selling plasma or something. I refuse to sacrifice in those two areas.

I'm great on jeans - I have built a decent collection over the years and it's what I usually get myself for Christmas. It's not just about the label on the butt pockets...and if you own nice jeans you will understand this...They just fit better. Much better. I can wear them with a $5 top from Old Navy and feel confident.

But hair. Every 7 weeks I get a little stressed about hair. I was not blessed with a shade that can be left alone to its own devices. No, I have to get highlights put in on a regular basis in order to be considered at all attractive. Dishwater blonde is not the stuff dreams are made of. And hair expenses add up.

Well, I thought I had found a way to get my highlights and cut done for $20, keeping both my hair values and budget in tact.

A lady I work with found this guy who was graduating from a renowned hair school and her cut and color looked fabulous. He had done a couple of other friends of hers and they had great results too. He only charges for the color since he is still in training.

I was supposed to have my regularly scheduled hair appointment two weeks ago but canceled it and booked this guy on that same date. Then, what do you know, two days beforehand the appointment got canceled. I can't even remember why. I was moved to the following Thursday. This was supposed to be in some fancy salon he got hired at where he was allowed to do his own hair on certain nights. I hated having to wait a few days, but okay.

Well, that got canceled too. Because, get this, after his Sunday afternoon appointments, he got called in and told (by the salon) that they didn't want him bringing in "those kind of people." They wanted more of the millionaire trophy wives sort of clientele. He couldn't stand the snobbishness of that place so he left, thus leaving him without a place to do my hair.

I was very upset that I had to go through the weekend with 2 inch roots. I had to help throw a baby shower on Sunday and I felt like I might as well be holding a cigarette and a can of beer as white trash as I looked with my two-toned hair. (I'm sure I just offended someone out there with that statement so I will apologize in advance. I didn't mean you.)

My appointment was rescheduled for a third time to today, back at the hair school. It was a for sure thing. I couldn't wait. My husband was taking a half day just so I could make the appointment.

I should mention that I'm a little emotionally fragile today. Not sure why, just feeling a little teary. Don't look at me the wrong way.

My co-worker (who has been doing all the scheduling for this hair guy) comes to my office and says, "What's the worst thing that could happen to you today?"

NOOOOOOOOO!

Yes.

The hair school did not have him scheduled and he will not be able to do my hair. He said he could do it at my house or at his apartment tonight. (Rylan has a soccer game. Husband is not crazy about this plan. I want to get my hair done in a FREAKING SALON!!! Is that so much to ask????)

I started bawling. I felt like such an idiot, it's only hair. But people, you have messed with my hair 3 TIMES now. I have had it!

I called my husband, still sobbing, and he told me to make the appointment with my normal hair stylist and forget this guy. So I did. And I know that when I show up Thursday afternoon that she will be there waiting for me.

I tried. I really did. I was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. It just wasn't meant to be.

Out With The Old

2009-09-24T11:35:00.000-07:00

One of the funny things about being away from a place for 5 years and then coming back is that you start realizing just how old some of your clothes are.

The older I get the longer I have the same clothes hanging in my closet, even though I swear I purge every season.

Today I'm wearing black pants and carrying a Coach purse - both of which I know I wore when I last worked here. I have several cute, still-in-style tops in my closet that I'm afraid to wear because I'm paranoid that someone will remember that I used to wear them over 5 years ago. I mean, I'm sure that everyone at this office makes mental notes about my outfits since they have nothing else to do, right?

One thing I definitely need to replace are both my black and brown boots. I think they are each about 7 years old. I say I'm going to get new ones every year. Instead I end up with some Cole Haan suede loafers that were on sale or some super cute silver flats. But these boots have got to go. I just hate spending money on boots - they are never cheap. But hey, if I'm going to wear them for the next seven years, maybe I can justify it!

The other funny thing about stepping back into my old place in history is seeing how people have aged. Yes, their kids have grown up and that is very weird, but my co-workers have all aged. And do you know what this means? I look old to them as well!

Do you ever catch yourself in the mirror and have to do a double-take because you just can't believe that the old lady in the mirror is really you? There are certain pictures I look at where it's not that I look bad, I just look older than I picture myself being.

I'm pretty sure it's almost time for me to begin researching my options on what the heck to do about these lines on the sides of my mouth. That's the thing that bugs me the most.

Did you see Cougar Town last night with Courtney Cox? I loved the beginning scene where she gets out of the shower and starts picking her body apart, pinching the strange extra skin around her elbow and pushing on her jiggly stomach and lifting her face up back to where it used to be. I love that she wasn't too vain to do that scene herself.

We all age, even beautiful Monica Gellar. And I'm okay with that. But I need to have some clothes/shoes/bags from this season to ease the process, thank you.

Mama Said Knock You Out

2009-09-19T18:02:00.000-07:00

I never thought that I, a 5'2 petite southern Christian mother of two, could ever want to punch the snot out of another 5 year old kid.

I learned something new about myself today.

We were at Rylan's soccer game, the first one of the season, and out comes the opposing team. They all had spray painted orange Mohawks (some faux-hawks) and looked like a group to be reckoned with. (Or is the phrase not to be reckoned with? My brain is mushy right now). I'm not sure if they've been running two-a-days since June or what but the score was probably, I kid you not, 40-3.

They had their own bench and everything. Where did these kids come from? We're in the U6 league for crying out loud! A bunch of mini-Beckhams were doing circles around our little guys, some of who didn't even understand which direction to kick the ball.

So here's where things got ugly for me. This little orange haired number 6 (I swear the orange painted hair made him look ten times meaner) was out there talking crap to my kid. He went eye to eye with him and did his hand over the top of their heads to prove a point on how much taller he was. Then he just proceeded to trash talk the rest of the game.

My kid is no pushover. He talked right back. This kid shoved, we told him to shove back. And to shove harder.

Number 6 proceeded to bully every kid on our team while simultaneously kicking the ball up and down the field scoring goal after goal.

I really hated that kid.

I wanted to see who his parents were. Who his mom was. I wanted to give her a dirty look.

And then I realized, "Oh my gosh, what is wrong with me?"

I always heard these stories of parents getting ridiculous on the little league sports fields and I thought for sure I would never succumb to that kind of behavior. I mean, that's just absurd. Only hotheaded idiots do that.

But I really had to bite my tongue here. Okay, I didn't exactly bite it when talking to the other parents on our team about this kid and I sort of didn't mind if the other team happened to overhear, which really doesn't make me all that innocent.

Oh, and did I mention the part about how I do the administrative/behind-the-scenes work for a little league sports ministry at a church where we have all the parents sign a Parent Code of Ethics before each season? Um, yeah. I really should know better.

I'm thinking I'll be needing to read the part in James about "taming the tongue" before each game. Because there's just something about wanting to defend your child, no matter if the opponent has been alive for 5 short years or not.

Do. Not. Mess. With. My. Kid.

Here's a picture of what Number 6 is going to grow up to look like. Scut Farkus from A Christmas Story.

The Popcorn Book

2009-09-18T17:59:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, Fall is in the air!

This is my favorite time of year. So nostalgic and melancholy. Pumpkin spice candles and toffee nut lattes. Fall festivals and pumpkin patches. High school football games on Friday nights. Lazy, gray Sunday afternoons, with my husband watching football and me curled up next to him reading a book.

I remembered this book from my childhood and wondered if anyone else had this as a kid. I'm going to order it off the internet - this is the perfect time of year for it. I think the original is out of print but they make mini-paperback version. The original sells on Amazon for as much as $186.00!

Here's the storyline. Sam the bear's parents left him alone on Halloween night to go to a party so he decides to throw a costume party of his own. All of his guests happen to bring the same thing: popcorn. They decide to pop all of the popcorn in one big black kettle, and then the entire house is filled with popcorn. The bears start eating up all the popcorn in order to clean up. Later that night after everyone has gone home, Sam's parents return with a gift for him: you guessed it, popcorn! As a child I thought this was absolutely hysterical.

I really wish that my mom could find our old copy, assuming it wasn't sold in a garage sale or lost in one of the moves. I call dibs on it. And I won't sell it on Amazon.

Overcommitted

2009-09-16T17:14:00.000-07:00

A lot of people I know have a hard time saying "no."

I am not one of those people.

I knew going into this fall that our schedule would be busier than ever before. I thought I was prepared for it. I thought wrong.

Back in the old days, we never left the house after nap time or dinner, unless it was to do something fun like go to the park or make an ice cream run. Spur of the moment things that we were not required to do. And I liked it that way.

Now we have entered a new era. An era that I'm afraid will only cause our lives to be more and more spoken for. Rylan has soccer practice one night a week, games on Tuesdays, and games on Saturdays. And marital arts on Fridays.

I signed us up for Wednesday night Bible study because I can't go to Wednesday mornings anymore. I really wanted to be in it because they are doing Beth Moore's Daniel. It's from 6:30-8:00. It started tonight. We didn't go.

My "mom-tuition" spoke pretty strongly to me this afternoon. Seeing as how I do not see my children until I pick them up at 1:00 (I leave for work before they are awake), and then Presley takes a nap most of the afternoon, I just couldn't bring myself to drop her off again for another hour and a half this evening. And it's not just an hour and a half. It's "Here - hurry up and eat this dinner NOW! We don't have all night - EAT! We've got to go!!! Get in the bath - Now get your clothes back on. Speed it up! Get in the car!!!! We're late!!!"

And then we wouldn't get back home until 8:30 and now it's past bedtime.

No, I just didn't see us doing that now that the reality of the situation was upon us. I'll still get my workbook and try to do it on my own (meaning I'll finish it sometime by next summer), and I don't think God will mind one bit.

Oh, and I've already dropped the ball twice, no three times, on school preparation. Having Presley in two different classes is very confusing. She had "homework" due yesterday but I had in my head that it was for her Wednesday class. Then today she came home with the same "homework" for that class. So we have to do two of everything. And speaking of, when it's an All About Me page for a 2 year old and there's a blank face and it says to decorate it with materials you have on hand, what does that really mean? I can't seem to read between the lines. Does it mean, Mom, you draw the face and hair and get out all your craft supplies and do this thing up? Or does it mean give your toddler a crayon and let them go to town? I sort of went with both.

She was supposed to wear yellow for her class and I sent her in the only yellow outfit she has today. Cute little sundress with a yellow bow. Then I looked at the calendar this afternoon and saw that it was for tomorrow. Oops - we have no more yellow clothes. Crap.

I was 10 minutes late picking them up on Tuesday because if you can believe this I got lost on the way there. I tried going a different way from work and I made a wrong turn but didn't realize it until I had been driving for 20 minutes and ended up back where I started. Blond moment. I'm still not totally sure how that happened.

All in all things are good, we are adjusting well, but I'm just having to be more protective of our schedule. I also want to give myself props for leaving the house by 6:45am several days a week when I haven't been out of bed before 7am on most days in years. And even more props to my DH for getting the kids fed, dressed and off to school in one piece. I think we're going to make this crazy train work.

Oh yeah, one more thing I just remembered...On the way home from school today Rylan said, "Mommy, I wish you were in heaven. Then Daddy could take us to school everyday and never go to work." Out of the mouths of babes I tell you. So warm and fuzzy.

The Frustrating Five's

2009-09-13T17:32:00.000-07:00

Whenever I found out I was having a boy, I admit that I was a little apprehensive. Boys make me very anxious with their hyper, rowdy ways and smelliness and dumb jokes and all the rest that make boys, boys.

I felt very fortunate that my son was not like this. He was super sweet and not on the aggressive side, as some of his playmates were. He was more interested in learning his letters and watching Super Why. I figured if I was going to have a boy, this was definitely the kind to have.

But then he grew up.

He turned five in July and now he is hyper, rowdy, smelly, tells dumb jokes all the livelong day, burps, constantly annoys his sister, and now begs to watch Sponge Bob and Spiderman instead of educational PBS Kids programming.

Don't get me wrong, he is still super sweet and very sensitive and caring. He tells me he loves me about twenty times a day, no exaggeration. However.

He has gone from being the kid that all the teachers dreamed of having, to being the one who this morning, as I picked him up from Sunday school and was made aware of some "challenges" that he presented by his lack of cooperation, the teacher told me in this kind of ugly tone, "Good luck." As in "Good luck with that brat of yours. You'll need it."

My kid doesn't do well with changes. He's in a new class now that also has a completely different format. He refused to participate in the class activities and I'm sure he was a little stinker (but I was a bit miffed at her choice of words). We had a major heart to heart with our little guy and he spent a good deal of time in his room thinking about his actions and I really think it will have an affect on him.

But oh my gosh, he is requiring so much more patience than I feel God has given me.

And while I'm venting, let me add this to the list. Presley (the two year old) will be perfectly content upstairs watching a show or playing with her toys, and I'll hear him saying (over and over until she reacts)..."Presley, Mommy's downstairs. Presley, don't you want to go find your Mommy? Presley, you're going to be all alone up here. Mommy's downstairs." So then of course she finally understands the urgency of the situation and starts crying for me.

This morning I'm trying to get ready for church and I hear, "Presley, do you want a drink? Do you want a drink? Presley, are you thirsty? Okay, go ask Mommy for a drink. Go ask Mommy. Mommy, Presley wants a drink."

This goes on about fifty times a day and it drives me insane.

One more story...
Last week he was picking on his sister and I got down on his level and told him that he had better quit right now. I said, "I'm going to give you one more shot, and then..." and as I was finishing whatever I was saying he started to completely fall apart, tears streaming down his face, and he says, "I DON'T WANT TO GET ANOTHER SHOT!!!"

Okay, poor choice of words. I'm giving you another chance. Chance, not a shot.

Although if they could come up with a way to make shots another form of discipline...that could maybe work for us...

Another Stranger-In-My-House Story

2009-09-12T07:51:00.001-07:00

My Craigslist Stranger Incident from yesterday reminded me of another crazy thing that happened to me about five years ago when my eldest was just a few months old.

It was a weekday morning and I was sitting on the couch watching The View (back in the days when adult programming was actually on my television before 8:30p.m.). Rylan was upstairs taking a nap in the nursery.

All of a sudden this man walks into my house.

I jumped up off the couch and started slowly walking toward him yelling "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE!!! YOU NEED TO LEAVE!!!"

He said, "I'm just here to install the new carpet..."

And I said, "I'm not getting any new carpet, you need to leave NOW!"

So he turned around and left.

Turns out that my neighbor was having new carpet installed and her mom knew the carpet guy. My neighbor was going to be at work so they told him the house would be unlocked and to just walk on in. And he did - just to the wrong house.

I was super pleased with myself on how I handled the situation because you never really know how you'll react until it actually happens. Mama Bear came out and I was not going to let this man anywhere near my cub.

We also started making sure that we kept our doors locked at all times, even at 10am on a Tuesday morning.

Stranger Danger

2009-09-11T13:07:00.000-07:00

I just had a very strange experience that could have gone very wrong.

I love Craigslist - I use it a few times a year. As a side note, I just tried eBay this month and totally shot myself in the foot because I way underestimated my shipping charges on both items I sold. So frustrating. And don't even get me started on my children's behavior at the post office. But I digress...

So I usually meet people at a public place like the Chick-fil-A parking lot in order to do the exchange. Once I had to have someone come to the house because the item was too large to fit in the car with kids and I knew my husband would be home anyway.

This morning I got an email for our Laugh n' Learn playhouse and it was from a grandma and her picture was on her email because she's a realtor. She asked if I would be home today and I replied back and said I'd be home between 2-4:30, did that work for her. I mean, it was a grandma so I felt like there wasn't much of a risk factor in having her come here.

I didn't get a response until around 2:00 when she asked if she could come get it. By that time I was desperately trying to get Presley to take a nap (to no avail, third time she's done that this week) and I was crazy tired and I wanted to lay down for a few minutes before responding to her that I was home. I was in the upstairs guest room with the fan on while the kids played in the game room and I did not hear the doorbell ring.

Oh, but my son did and he, despite our MANY conversations about this, answers it and invites the strange lady inside.

Then I hear him calling for me and I walk out and see this lady in my entryway.

It was the Craigslist lady and I'm all "Wha?" and mind you, I'm also half asleep. Very confused at this point.

She said she was sorry, she didn't know I was asleep, she just knew I said I'd be home during this time so she thought she'd swing by and pick up the toy. I was like, "How did you get my address? Because that kind of freaks me out that someone could get that."

She said that my full name popped up on my email and she looked me up on Superpages.com.

Well isn't that handy.

The kids had scattered all the little shapes and accessories that went with the playhouse (which I had planned to gather up BEFORE I met her for the exchange) so she stood there while I rushed around upstairs and down to get them all together.

Super nice lady, but oh my gosh, who does that?

You can imagine the talk I had with my five year old after she left. I honestly don't know what else to tell him. Any thoughts? I told him he's not allowed to answer the door to ANYONE now, even if it's his dad or grandmom. I'm the only one allowed to open the door.

And the other lesson here...In the future I'll be using a hotmail address that does not link to my real name. I'm not all that technically savvy so the thought never occurred to me that this could happen.

Dear Diary Days, Vol. 5

2009-09-08T15:03:00.001-07:00

I just really don't have much to say these days. Busy with new (old) job and the kids starting school. So here's another Diary for you.

February 18, 1988
Dear Diary,
Guess What! I'm going with Evan White. We started today. He's in 5th grade, but he is fine. [I was in 6th grade so it was pretty scandalous to "go with" a younger man] He's very shy. I think he'll come out of it tomorrow. I really love him. Basketball is over. Saturday is the cheerleading clinic. Well, guess I better go.

March 15, 1988
D.D. ,
I know I haven't really been keeping you updated. Here's the basics:

1) I'm trying out for cheerleading

2) Growing Pains was moved to Wednesdays.

3) I broke up with Evan, and have a crush on Michael! [Evan's brother who was in my grade]

4) It's Spring Break, and we're going to Corpus Christi on Thursday.

5) Michael likes Amy and I, and doesn't know which to go with.

Kirk Cameron is not my favorite now. Jeremy Licht is fine!!! [Remember him from Hogan Family?]

Now #2 may seem insignificant, but I can assure you this was a huge deal. I had AWANAS (church) on Wednesday nights. Sure, we had a VCR, but things happened and sometimes it didn't record. Not quite as reliable as our DVR's. Maybe this is when I got off the Growing Pains bandwagon - I think that happened when they adopted that redhead girl. Shows always jump the shark when they go and adopt a kid. Remember Oliver on Brady Bunch? I rest my case.

Dear Diary Days, Vol. 4

2009-09-02T18:15:00.000-07:00

Today we're coming at you from 1987, so I was about 12 years old in the 7th grade.

December 28, 1987

Dear Diary,
It's almost '88! I'm watching Win, Lose, or Draw. I have the board game also. They're both fun.

You should know that I like Kirk Cameron to the extreme. He's so fine, he's premo to the extremo! (a new phrase).

If I have kids, I will let them read my diary. I want them to know that I was a kid. I really want to see Three Men and a Baby. Mandy and I almost saw it. See, we planned to see Batteries not included at 12:30. Me and Mandy saw that Three Men and a Baby showed at 12:13. We saw that it was 12:10. We went ahead and saw *B.N.I.

I get to spend the night with Lori on New Years Eve and go to Holiday in the Park. The next day we're going to the mall. I can't wait. I'm reading the 7th Babysitters Club book. It's good and sad. Bye!

I really did love me some Kirk Cameron back in the day. Turns out he was actually a good pick - look at him now, total Christian family man! I remember a poster I had on my wall (one of many) where he was wearing a yellow suit with a turquoise shirt. Dreamy!

You know, that reminds me, I never did see Fireproof. Is it way cheesy?

Part-Time Rocks

2009-09-02T13:25:00.000-07:00

I'm three days in to my new (old) job and so far I am loving it!

I walked in on Monday to a new office with my name already on the door, and there are still lots of familiar faces from when I was there five years ago. Most of my job responsibilities have stayed the same so there's not too much of a learning curve. But it's funny how things that I did in my sleep five years ago I'm having to really sit and think about how to do it now.

Part time is definitely the way to go for me. I love that I get to be Stephanie, the hard-working employee, in the mornings, and in the afternoons, I'm Rylan and Presley's Mommy.

This week has been interesting because the kids haven't started school yet so Daddy has been the one to stay home with them until about 1:30. Let's just say that when I get home the kids are still in their pj's, the little one is covered in markers/paint/food, and every surface in our house is a bit sticky. I don't ask a lot of questions. They had fun and I'm thankful he could be there.

But to give you a better picture, I came home on Monday and Presley was eating an ice cream bar out of a Tupperware bowl on the coffee table and smearing the melted ice cream all over the table and floor. Lovely. Then as the day went on I found pizza crusts, watermelon rinds, and lots of other fun goodies in every room of the house. Did they have a frat party over here or what?

Oh, and here's what happened to me this morning.

I'm on my way to work - I left at 7:10a.m. and I was so proud of myself for getting an early start. I'm praying out loud in my car, having a grand ole time, and I hit a school zone in kind of an industrial looking area. I was taking a new back route so I wasn't really familiar with it. Anyway, this big construction truck is in front of me so when I turned right at the stop light I kind of sped up to get around him. All of a sudden I see the back side of a school zone sign and I realize oops - the school zone was still in effect when I turned right. Crap. And then the police lights started flashing behind me. Perfect.

I truly thought I would get off with a warning, but no, I got a ticket. And since I completed my last defensive driving course on October 24th because of a stupid speed trap in Copper Canyon (on my way home from a Bible study, no less) I have to pay the whole $326. Now may I just say that the reason I am working is because we really need the money, not just so I can go on a shopping spree at Nordstroms (but a girl can dream). So basically, I am working this week and part of next just to pay for this stupid ticket which I would not have gotten if I wasn't going to work.

After I got the ticket the tears came, a little too late - maybe I should have begged and cried and I could've gotten that warning. But I'm like, Hello God, did you not just hear my prayers? I mean, really? Can't you help a sister out here? Because I'm really not feeling it! I mean, thanks a lot!

So that kind of dampened my day but what can you do. It got better when I ran into the human resources director and she said that just a few days before I had emailed my old co-worker to feel out what was going on around there these days (which is how this whole thing got started), she and my old boss and her boss were sitting around talking about how they wish they could hire me back - that I was the gold standard for that position!

I can't tell you how much that made my day. For the last 5 years I've just been "Mom." It was so great to know that people value me for other things, too. I feel like I've reconnected a little bit with the old, pre-mom me, and it feels pretty good. I would not trade my Mommy status for the entire universe but I think this is very healthy for me.

Oh, another bonus - since I haven't been with the kids all morning, it's not such a drag to play several rounds of Connect Four after I get home and my patience level with them has not been depleted. It's a win for everyone!

Dallas Children's Museum

2009-08-27T11:10:00.000-07:00

I don't venture out to the "big city" very often by myself. Frankly, I almost break out in hives whenever I'm faced with getting around downtown Dallas. I have zero sense of direction, so the thought of bringing my kids along for the adventure is not so appealing to me.

However, I read an article in Dallas Child about the Children's Museum at the Museum of Nature and Science in Fair Park and I decided to suck it up, be a grownup, and just do it. I made it all the way into the Fair Park area before I had to call the place to get better directions to the actual museum - Mapquest kind of steered me in the wrong direction on that one. But we got there.

First word of advice, that place is Fuh-reee-zing. If you are wearing summer clothes you may want to bring a sweater along. Prices weren't too bad, $8.75 for me, $5.50 for ages 3-11 (free for Presley, my 2 year old).

The first thing we encountered was this:A small Dinosaur hall where you could go on a Dino dig for fossils. Rylan looked at me with (I think) tears in his eyes and said, "Mommy, THANK YOU for bringing me here!!!"

After that we took the elevator down to the Children's Museum and started off in the Explore Your Backyard exhibit. They have snakes, tarantulas, etc, plus an ant tunnel for the kids to crawl through. It's also where they have a play area for little ones 0-2.

Next we hit the Explore Your Town area where they have firefighter costumes and a fire truck play structure, along with fire truck books and puzzles.

There were lots of other little exhibits around that - a sand table where you drive construction trucks, a builder's area where you put on a hardhat and tool belt, a Fine Arts station where you can put on costumes and play on a stage...So many things to do and see.

My kids loved the water area...
and the Little Urban Farm exhibit was also a big hit. I wish I could have gotten a better picture, but the kids got to "milk" a fake life-sized cow. Way cool.

We spent about an hour and a half there but could have stretched that out quite a bit. But we were hungry and also had a nap schedule and long drive time to contend with. I brought our lunch and we went outside to the picnic tables next to this cute lagoon. (They have a cafe but I wanted to save $$).

The Children's Museum was geared for the under 7 crowd. They also have the Science of Spying exhibit going on (for an additional fee) but it looked to be for older kids. The dinosaur IMAX show comes out in September and I'm wondering if it would appeal to my kids, ages 2 and 5, or if it's more documentury-ish. Someone let me know if you see it.

Other than losing Presley once for about 2 panic filled minutes when she decided to go into a completely different area while I was helping Rylan get his fire costume off, the trip was a success! And I even found my way back home with no incident. Although driving through that bad side of town to get to the highway was a big disconcerting.

But we did it and I highly recommend it.

By the way, if you are not from the Dallas area but are planning a trip, check out Dallas Hotels for great hotel selections with discount prices.

Mama's got a J-O-B

2009-08-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

Ever since the kids were born I have wanted to find a way to make money without having to go back to work full time. I curse myself for not getting a degree in something like speech or physical therapy - something that would have allowed me to work part-time with decent pay. ("If I could turn back time...")

I've looked at direct sales (Arbonne, Mary Kay, World Ventures, etc) but none of them seemed right for me. Last summer I tried to sell ad space for the Kid's Directory from home - that didn't work since the kids were yelling in the background the whole time - so professional. I knew that maybe the time just wasn't right. I've been praying about it for a while now and I hoped that this fall with Presley starting Mom's Day Out that something would present itself.

Well, something did. I'm going back to my old job which I LOVED and will work about 20 hours a week - they were so cool and actually changed the job up in order to accommodate the amount of hours I could work. My husband will take the kids to school so that I can get an earlier start and I will pick them up at 1:00. One day a week he'll pick them up so that I can get in a full day. I had to sign Presley up for another 2 days at preschool. Hopefully she won't notice that on Tue/Thur she's doing the same thing as on Mon/Wed!

This could not have come at a better time for many reasons, all of which God knew beforehand and totally had his hand in this. I'll be doing something I enjoy surrounded by good people in a casual atmosphere.

Of course it's also bittersweet.

Even though I will still have Friday mornings with Presley while her big brother is in school, I surely didn't ever plan to go from her being with me 24/7 to being apart four mornings a week. I will have to cancel my gym membership because the only time I could have gone was the mornings. And I have to go to Wednesday evening bible study instead of Wednesday mornings, where most of my mom friends will be. Oh - and the days of sleeping till 7am will be long gone. They were good while they lasted.

Those things may seem ridiculous to a lot of people, but when you are a stay-at-home mom you just get used to your routine. I've done it for 5 years. So it's going to take a little getting used to for all of us.

But I'm really excited and I think I'm ready! Better get my iron out!

No More Pacifiers for Piggy

2009-08-19T18:07:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe we did it. We extinguished all pacifier use the day before Presley turned two. And we are all still standing.

I didn't really plan it...On Saturday I took the kids to my parent's house in Arlington and forgot to bring one along. Whenever she asked for it I just casually said we left it at home, and she seemed OK with it. That night she was pretty zonked since she missed her nap so she fell right to sleep.

The next day was her birthday, and although she asked for it a few more times, I didn't give it to her (I am so mean!). Honestly, there is one purple paci around here somewhere but I have no idea where it is so I wasn't even tempted to pull it out and give it to her. Which is the best way to go. (Not to mention that my husband is weak when it comes to his little girl so he would have broken down and given it to her on the sly.)

She didn't go to sleep that day for her nap but she wasn't exactly begging for the paci, either. And that night it took her awhile to fall asleep as well, and she woke up twice during the night. But then I realized that the upstairs A/C wasn't working right so she was probably just hot.

The third day she had a hard time going to sleep for her nap but after about an hour she finally crashed - and we've been fine ever since!

I got her the cutest book for her birthday called No More Pacifier for Piggy. It's the companion book to another one we have, No More Diapers for Ducky.

She just loves to look at these books and I make up lines as I'm reading it like, "Piggy's too big for pacis. Pacis are for babies." She totally gets it.

As a full time mom there are few tangible ways to feel a sense of accomplishment, and this is one of them. I'm so proud of us!

Bravo

2009-08-18T10:57:00.000-07:00

I just saw that Flipping Out was back on tonight on Bravo! Does anyone else watch this show? It is super addicting.

Speaking of Bravo TV shows, I have some inside gossip on a Real Housewife. (I'm sure you are on the edge of your seat and that you totally care.)

One of our restaurant franchises in Mission Viejo (if you don't already know which stores we have I'm not putting it on this blog for privacy reasons, sorry) was selected to be a shoot location for the new season of Real Housewives of Orange County.

Tamra - who describes herself as "the hottest housewife in Orange County," totally annoying, and her mother ate dinner there and were discussing her divorce. So I guess that all the many gifts that Simon bought for her over the last few seasons did not pay off. It looked to me like they had a good thing going, I hated to hear that. Fame can be an ugly thing.

Now this is just gossip - the waiters overheard their conversation and it filtered back to us in Texas. And I wanted to have some scoop that hasn't made it on Extra yet. Because I'm cool like that.
Tamra is the second one from the left in the black dress.

Things I Love About Presley

2009-08-15T17:42:00.000-07:00

Today is my baby girl’s second birthday! Sniff, sniff

I’m doing this posting mostly for selfish reasons – so that I can share this with her one day. If I put it off and save this list for her baby book then Lord knows it will never happen.

So here’s to you, my sweet princess!

Things I love about my Presley:

Your curly strawberry blonde hair, especially when you first wake up and it’s all over the place.

The way you say, “Daddy, guess what?” over and over again.

The fact that you tell knock knock jokes at age 1. I especially love it when you tell them to yourself in a stage whisper and end it with “Ah ha ha ha!”

Our going to bed routine, even though it wears me out sometimes. You like to pick out 5 books or more and go “rock rock” for eternity. But I savor it.

I love praying with you at bedtime and when I’m done and say Amen you say (almost every time), “Amen? That’s funny!”

When you brought me two eggs while I was drying my hair in the bathroom and said, “This is for you!” I went into the kitchen and found the whole carton of eggs in the middle of the kitchen floor, half of them broken. And I just laughed.

The fact that you can out-eat everyone else in the family. I love a girl who loves to eat!

How you’ll say, “I’m hungry. I want something to eat. What are my choices?” – starting when you were like 20 months old.

You have no fear. I think you are going to be the athlete I always dreamed of being. I didn’t like it, however, when you used my iPhone for pitching practice and broke it. There went your birthday present.

I loved the stage when for a couple of weeks you had to have a bow in your hair every time I put you to bed. Of course, you can’t keep a bow in during the daytime.

You are the total opposite of your brother – When you see a puddle, you’ve got to be in it. When you see a pile of sand, you have to dig into it.

You take after your dad on your sleeping habits. I love that you can sleep in until 8 or 8:30 and that you take a two-hour nap every day. Your brother can barely make it till 7:15a.m., just like his mom. Your dad and I have already figured out how things will work on our vacations!

Your independent spirit and resourceful nature fascinate me. You want to do everything yourself. If you want something, you will find a way to get it. This would be why I need to get a lock for the pantry and refrigerator.

Speaking of which, when we were at a birthday party for Rylan’s friend, you dug into an open cooler, took out a can of Diet Coke, opened it, and poured it down your shirt. Just another day in Presley’s world. I love that it doesn’t even phase me.

I am so enjoying watching you carry around the cheap plastic mermaids we got at the dollar store. You love those things! And they remind me of some mermaids I used to have as a little girl. I can’t wait until we can play dolls together, if you’ll be into that sort of thing.

I love your pretty mouth and the big gap between your front teeth.

I love that you are tall for your age, something I never was in my whole life.

It cracks me up when you say, “Thanks Mom!”

I get the biggest kick out of when you correct me. The other day we were looking at a book with a picture of a monkey who was playing the violin. You pointed at the bow and said, “What’s that?” I said, “It’s a bow.” You said, “It’s NOT a bow! THIS is a bow!” and you pointed to the girl monkey on the page who was indeed wearing a bow. You sure told me.

I adore that you go around saying “God is wif us!” – something you picked up from Vacation Bible School this summer.

You LOVE candy. Your dad is the one who introduced that to you. Several times I have wondered where you were, only to walk into the kitchen and find you quietly sitting on the floor, having taken down the heavy silver candy bowl off the kitchen counter and downed as much candy as you possibly could in a short period of time. The wrappers are all over the floor and you look at me and say, “I ate candy!” and it’s like 8:45 in the morning. This has happened more than once.

You are a smarty-pants. You’ve been speaking in sentences since 17 months, and have known your shapes, colors, numbers, and letters for a while now.

You have no idea what it did to me to watch you push your new baby doll in her stroller today! I have dreamed of this day since I was a little girl. I just want to stay home all morning and play dolls with you. We are going to have so much fun!

24. I love that I LIKE you. Not just love you, but I really like you. I cannot wait to see how your little personality develops over these next few years!

Random Pop Culture Musings

2009-08-14T11:21:00.000-07:00

Last night I caught the last three episodes of Friends on TBS. I haven't watched that show in years! I cried through all of their goodbyes, the part where Joey and Chandler hug it out in their old apartment next to the disassembled Foosball table, the Ross/Rachel reunion, and of course the last shot when they pan over the empty apartment and show them all walking down the stairs for one last cup of coffee. When it was over I felt like I had just caught up with a few of my old friends - I had that same feeling of nostalgia. Okay, maybe I'm a dork.

After that I proceeded to finish reading my US magazine. I had kind of heard about the Ed scandal from The Bachelorette and how two girls came out and said he was sleeping with them through the whole thing - but oh my gosh - until I read the full article I had no idea! These girls are legitimate, normal people with emails and texts to back themselves up! This guy is such a total scumbag!!! I cannot believe that he was so smooth that the TV audience even bought his act. That is just plain scary. I'm not sure at this point if Jillian is over her denial - has anyone heard? Last I saw she was on one of the morning shows defending him and saying nothing had changed, the wedding was still on. Wake up, girlfriend!!! (I knew she should have chosen Reid, who reminds me of Chandler Bing!)

Another thing I read in US was in this article about Real-Life Hollywood Moms (what is that, anyway?) and this actress, Kelly Rutherford, named her son Hermes. Like the scarves. How is his fifth grade teacher supposed to keep a straight face when calling on him in class? I mean really. Really? She named her younger son Daniel. I'm guessing she must have learned her lesson.

"Hermes goes for a three-pointer. He shoots - He scores!"

Somehow I'm just not feeling it.

And finally, we have the pictures from Mark Wahlberg and model Rhea Durham's wedding. I'm scanning through the write-up when I see that this couple has three children together! Ages 5, 3, and 11 months. And yet, there they are, all gussied up in their formal wedding attire - she in a $30,000 Marchesa gown. Do you think her daddy gave her away, all teary eyed and such? The whole thing just seems a little embarrassing.

One more thing now that I just saw the ad on the back cover. Did you know that there's a new Paul Frank line for Target?! How cool is that! This cute boy's t-shirt is $7.99 and the girl's pink hoodie is $18.99. Adorable!

Firefly Lane

2009-08-13T15:23:00.001-07:00

Allow me a second to pull myself together...(sob, sniffle)...Tissue, please...Okay, I'm fine.

I just finished reading one of the best books I've ever read: Firefly Lane, by Kristin Hannah. It's kind of reminiscent of Beaches, where the story follows two girls from their early teens into adulthood. Friendship is the central theme of this novel, and all the triumphs, disappointments, and life lessons that go with it.

One thing I really liked about the book was how she referenced different historical events in the subtlest ways, a la Forest Gump. She takes you on a journey through the 70's, 80's, 90's, to present day.

It's one of those books where you feel like you personally know the characters and are almost mournful when you reach the last page. It's a story that will stick with me always.

At 479 pages it's not a quick read, but I highly recommend it, even if it takes you months to finish. Hannah also wrote On Mystic Lake, which I think was turned into a movie? I just got it from the library today.

I've got to go feed these kids now. That's the problem with getting into a great book - I neglect everything else!

The Bug

2009-08-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

Summer is winding down, and it looks to be going out with a fizzle.

Last Thursday Presley woke up spewing blue vomit all over the place (I'm wondering just how much icing was on her piece of leftover birthday cake the night before), so that pretty much forced us to stay home. The weekend was "eh"...we were at the lake most of the weekend but stayed mostly indoors either sleeping or vegging. It's just so hot now that it takes a lot of motivation to do anything outside.

Rylan came into our bedroom at midnight that night, and I said, "Rylan, go back to your room!" in my gentle, nurturing voice and then I heard the sounds of puking. Oh yes, all over our comforter. And he had eaten a lot of blueberries that day. Fantastic. (A big thank you to the makers of OxyClean.)

So Monday was spent at home.

Tuesday we went to the gym and the grocery store - so exciting. My husband was the next victim of the bug and he came home early from work and went to bed. Oh, but the highlight of that day was that Presley started doing this fake laugh...you'd have to hear it to appreciate it...but it's one of the funniest things I've ever heard! She's been doing it non-stop ever since. (And have I gotten out the video camera? Nope.)

About 3:30a.m. on Wednesday I woke up with sharp pains in my stomach and I knew what I was in for. Yesterday pretty much sucked. We had to miss out on bible study - which was our only planned activity of the week and 2.5 hours that I normally get to have kid-free.

The house was completely ransacked by my children. I spent the day in the bathroom and couldn't have cared less about the container of yogurt that my darling daughter spilled all over the floor. Or the ficas tree grass that got strewn all over the living room. Or the sink full of dishes. Or the fact that every game and puzzle piece was now in the middle of the game room floor. I even let Rylan watch a few episodes of Sponge Bob. I hate that show.

My knight in shining armor got home around 7:00 (he went in later in the morning so I couldn't be mad) and brought me 7Up and a frozen pizza (it was the only thing that I felt I could handle, I have no idea why). Oh, and an US magazine. Bless him! He gave the kids a bath, put them to bed, and then we watched Giuliana and Bill. I was in bed by 9:30.

I still don't have all my energy today and my cereal tasted funny. That's how you know when you are sick, when you can't drink coffee and your cereal is off.

We made a quick trip to the library and drove through Taco Bueno for lunch. That is the excitement for our day. I have got to come up with some good stuff for the next couple of weeks!

Cool Baby Montage

2009-08-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

This is such a great idea - This couple took a picture of their son's first year every day in the same spot and put this video together.

It's a good reminder to me of how much I have sucked on taking video of my kids the past several months. I keep putting it off because a) they look ratty, b) the house is a mess, or c) I look like a disheveled housewife. But I guess I need to just get it out and do it.

The Mommy Perils of Facebook

2009-08-10T08:03:00.000-07:00

I jumped on the facebook bandwagon almost a year ago and it's one of the most exciting things to have happened to me in years, right after the birth of my two children.

But this new-found time sucker is not without its hazards.

For example, facebook either keeps you honest, or calls you out on your excuses and lies.

You cancel on your friend for this morning’s playdate, saying that little Jake has a bad cold. Later you post in your status update that your family had a great day at the zoo. Your friend, like almost everyone else you know, is on your facebook and reads this.

Busted.

Disclaimer: Just to be clear, that is not something I personally have done. But I know some moms that have. I've never, ever used my kids as an excuse to get out of an activity. Whoa, was that lightning that just struck?

A few months ago a friend of mine backed out of a casual afternoon coffee date, lamenting how she had way too much on her plate that day. But a couple of hours later, around the time that I would have been sipping a latte with my gal pal, she posted a mobile upload of her freshly painted tootsies from the nail salon where she was at getting a pedi with her mom and sister.

Being the smart alec that I am, I made a comment on her photo and called her out in a joking way and, of course, she had a perfectly good explanation. No hard feelings. But I learned from that experience that you have to be very, very careful with this little addiction called facebook.

Just this week I faced a new dilemma. My son had his birthday party and I wondered if I should post the pictures from our little shindig. Would I hurt anyone’s feelings who wasn’t invited? Obviously not a child’s feelings, but we all know how personal we moms can take rejection on behalf of our brood.

And probably the worst thing yet, I was looking at an old college friend's page and as I scrolled down her Wall, I saw that one of her friends posted a comment referring to hearing that she was having marital issues and hoped that they worked it all out soon. The way it was worded you could tell that the friend probably really didn't realize this was being posted for all to see (she was probably a fb newbie). Hello, now it's public knowledge! And even your old college friend whom you haven't seen in 12 years knows about your marital woes!

So I am just wondering, what facebook stories do you all have? Whether they happened to you or someone you know, I’d love to hear them!

Cutest Jewelry

2009-08-06T14:57:00.000-07:00

I was watching the finale of The Bachelorette last week when I noticed this adorable bracelet that Jillian was wearing:

Then I was on facebook the next day and a girl I knew from high school had on her status update that she sells that bracelet on her website, www.stelladot.com/jillpeavy

So I went and checked it out. Apparently, this new company Stella and Dot uses direct sales as their marketing channel, and all the A-list celebs and fashion magazines are in love with it. So am I!

The prices range from $25-$250, with 50% of their products priced below $50. They call it an "affordable luxury" since celebs like Debra Messing, Rachel Ray, and Paris Hilton are sporting these cute pieces.

I'm thinking I'm going to be having a jewelry party when my friend comes to town so hopefully I can get some of this stuff for free!!!

This is one of my favorite things they sell - you can build the cutest charm necklaces in silver or gold. They've got tons of birthstones, initials, and symbols to choose from.

How cute would this butterfly necklace be with a white t-shirt and jeans?

I have the perfect black dress for this. I never realized until now how horribly unaccessorized I have been wearing it until now.

Cuteness.

I want this so bad.

Self-Destructive Behavior

2009-08-02T18:50:00.000-07:00

It's like I'm trying to get fat.

In my pantry I have the following: mini Oreos, mini Chips Ahoy, oatmeal cream pies, a bag of mini Kit Kats, a bag of potato chips, and Dr. Pepper. And ice cream sandwiches in the freezer.

I never keep this crap in my house because I WILL EAT IT. ALL of it. (I mean, I certainly don't let my children eat this junk!)

But last week I was at Wal-Mart, kind of feeling low, and they had a lot of this stuff for $1. So I bought it. And I ate it, have been eating it for a week. After the kids go to bed I eat more of it.

As if this kind of out of control behavior was not enough, I've been doing something really wild and crazy for several nights now.

I have been staying up past ten o'clock. (Gasp!)

I lay in bed and watch t.v. and don't turn it off until AFTER Letterman's monologue! I am truly living on the wild side. (This will only be funny to those who know me well. I'm the most rigid person you will meet when it comes to going to bed, just ask my college roommates.)

I guess I will call this "The Summer of Living Dangerously."

Is this what you call self-destructive behavior? Do I need an intervention?

Am I going to end up like Micsha Barton???

Bless her heart. Gotta miss The OC days.

Stranded

2009-08-02T18:03:00.001-07:00

I had a wee little incident on the jet ski today and am still exhausted from the emotional toll it took on me.

I was having the most peaceful little excursion around Moss Lake. No one was out, I was just riding around appreciating God's nature and taking it all in. I was on my way back, parallel with our property, yet clear across the lake, and I planned to go just a little further up and then circle back around home.

But I ran out of gas.

I'm thinking, Oh, good thing I ran out where they can see me! Even though they looked like tiny dots because I was so far away. But there was no one on the lake and I'm on a red jet ski...Someone will miss me (um, like my husband) and then look out and see me.

At first I just put my legs out and tried to get some sun, feeling so proud of myself for not having a breakdown.

I strained to see our golf cart go up the hill to the house (presumably to get some gas). Minutes ticked by.

I'm kind of starting to worry now. Oh - but here comes the golf cart. Someone is getting on the other jet ski. Good, they are coming to get me!

And then the jet ski goes in the opposite direction. They don't see me. Oh my gosh. I'm going to be stuck here all day. And I'm really thirsty. And I'm going to get a serious sunburn.

No one cares about me. I feel so invisible. Boats are passing by. Jet skis are whizzing past me. No one stops.

I start bawling my eyes out at this point. Not because I was scared - I knew at some point I would be rescued - but I was so incredibly frustrated! I was STUCK. There was nowhere to go, even though I could see our house, albeit from a long distance.

Then I see the other jet ski come back and park in front of the house again. At this point I just really lost it, laying my head on the handlebars and sobbing uncontrollably.

I started screaming for help. Screaming and screaming. Waving my arms. I did this for several minutes until my throat was raw.

Finally a man in a boat comes to me and asks me if I needed help. It's obvious that I am crying...I can barely get my words out...and then he says he has to go find a life jacket that fell out of his boat but that he'd be back to tow me in. Thank you oh so much.

Before he came back I see my husband on one of our guest's fishing boats coming toward me. I am saved at last.

Apparently he did notice I was missing but did not see me out there. He was riding around the lake looking for me when on his way back past the property he ran out of gas.

Oh, and the real kicker is that apparently the jet ski has a reserve tank, and if I had known about this, all I had to do was turn a knob to the right and I could have made it home. Perfect. Good to know.

Five Years Ago Today...

2009-07-30T05:49:00.001-07:00

My oldest baby is turning five today! I have never been all that emotional or sentimental on any of his other birthdays, aside from his first, but for some reason I'm having to hold back the tears this time. And he's not even going to kindergarten yet! A lot of you know Rylan's conception story but I wanted to document it here on this blog for my own personal enjoyment. Humor me.

Considering my mother had four kids, I never dreamed getting pregnant would be an issue for me. After six months of trying without any results, along with the fact that my period was about as regular as a snow day in Texas, we decided to start fertility treatments.

Three rounds of Clomid later with zero ovulation on my part, I was told I needed to see a specialist.

We went to the doctor that my OB-Gyn recommended. He had me fill out some forms and spent a few minutes talking to me and my husband.

Based on my paperwork and my answers, I was diagnosed with Luteinized Unruptured Follicle Syndrome. Oh, but I was lucky, because I was in the small percentage of women with LUFS who did not suffer from extreme facial hair and obesity. Goodie.

The doctor also said judging from Lance’s sperm sample (oh the joys of infertility procedures!) that we would be dealing with some slow, low-count, swimmers. After a few days of giving myself shots in the stomach we did an IUI, which failed. Somehow I did not ovulate even with all the medication. I didn’t even realize that was a possibility.

We got the news that it didn’t work a day before we left for vacation in July of ‘99. We were told that the only possible way for me to get pregnant was through In Vitro. It was great to get away and unwind for a week and on that trip we decided that we needed to take a few months off from the whole thing both for financial and emotional reasons. We were already set back $6,000 in procedures since insurance didn’t cover any of it. Saying that I was fried emotionally is an understatement.

In October we met with a new doctor. He looked through my files and said that our previous doctor seemed to hand out our two diagnoses to all of his patients (LUFS and slow swimmers). He didn’t think that I flat out didn’t ovulate, only that it didn’t happen very often. And Lance had given a new sample to their clinic and it all looked just fine. He recommended we do In Vitro Fertilization though because of my ovulation issues.

The first step was to have a period so that I could get on birth control pills for a couple months to build up the lining of my uterus (oh, the irony!). They gave me Provera to help me start my period or else I could be waiting for months. I had taken it before with the Clomid and it always worked.

Days passed and I wasn’t starting. They told me to come on in for a sonogram to see if the lining was thick enough to go ahead and start the pills.

I was by myself since this was a no big deal appointment. I felt like total crap, like I was getting the flu. Just walking up the stairs to get to the office wore me out. The doctor walked past me while I was getting my blood pressure taken and said, “Wow, you don’t look so hot.” Thanks.

A nurse told me they had to take a blood pregnancy test as part of protocol. I sneered. Then I went down the hall for my ultrasound. It was just this super sweet nurse and me. I swear it wasn’t five seconds and she said, “You’re pregnant!” and almost simultaneously the other nurse walks in with my blood test and says, “She’s pregnant!” And the first nurse says, “You’re seven weeks!”

I don’t think there has been a time before or since when I have felt such joy, shock, wonder…it was as if someone had come over to me from Publisher’s Clearing House and handing me a giant check for $20 million dollars. Only better.

I sat in my car for about twenty minutes because I was in such a state of shock that I couldn’t even drive. I called my boss (who was a minister at the church where I worked and the best boss I could ever imagine) and told him the news, and asked if I could have the day off so that I could tell my husband in person.

Now, Lance was getting ready to open our newest restaurant in Flower Mound that very night. He was going on about 6 hours of sleep for the week. Total crunch time. Crazy stress.

I pulled into the parking lot and found him in the back alley unloading the food. He was, of course, wondering what in the world I was doing over there in the middle of the workday. I told him to close his eyes and hold out his hands. I put the picture of the sonogram in them. The look on his face was just priceless. This big, handsome, man’s man just literally crumpled with joy.

We hugged for a little while but the clock was ticking and he had to get back to work. In the mean time I gathered my side of the family over to my parent’s house and gave them the news.

It really was one of the best days of my entire life.

Oh, and conception occurred the same day as our consultation with that new doctor. Strange how that works.

Even though people get pregnant every single minute around the world, for me, this was the biggest miracle I had ever experienced. I thanked God constantly through that pregnancy and have never been so grateful.

Five years and two kids later I still stand in awe of God's blessings. Life can be so incredibly hard sometimes, but I swear to you, as long as I have my two healthy kids, nothing else really matters.

Dear Diary Days, Vol. 3

2009-07-27T15:16:00.001-07:00

I'm thinking this came from the summer either before or after 5th grade (there's no date but I'm still reading from my Beezus and Ramona Diary)...Anyway, though brief, I thought it was rather timely.

Dear Diary,
I hate swimming lessons. I haven't told anyone. I am very slow, and it's embarrassing.

And it was! I remember getting the worst butterflies in my stomach the whole ride there. I wasn't afraid of the water - I guess it was just the whole performance in front of others thing. I didn't know anyone there. Then they made you doggy paddle in the middle of the deep end for what seemed like an eternity - I don't think I have doggy paddled since.

I also had two moles on the same toe on my left foot and I was MORTIFIED about this. You wouldn't believe the shame I felt over this toe. Actually, the top one was a freckle and the bottom one was just a normal, smallish mole. Nothing hairy or crazy, but to me it was just a total freak show. I tried to hide my toe during swim class so no one would notice. I even did the Bandaid thing.

(At present day the freckle has faded and there's just one, normal, lone brown mole and I don't ever stop to think about it. I even found a husband who could overlook this bodily defect.)

I think it is good to remember these times from our childhoods so that we can better empathize with our kids whenever they seem completely irrational. The kid universe is entirely different from the adult universe. Thank the Lord for that.

Girl Clothes I Covet

2009-07-21T14:13:00.000-07:00

I just got the Mini Boden catalogue in the mail and I am in love. These little outfits are so stinking adorable. Someday when a) I have more disposable income and b) Presley can wear clothes for an hour without spilling something all over them, I will be all over this store.

It's not that it is majorly expensive, but it's that I don't just want the shirt. I want the entire ensemble. The shirt, the pants, the cardigan, the tall orange boots, the coat. The metallic sneakers, the ballet flats. And then go ahead and pull it all out in the adult sizes and put it on my tab. Then we can call it a day.

www.bodenusa.com

Our 9th Anniversary

2009-07-16T14:43:00.000-07:00

The hubs and I have been married for 9 years yesterday. He surprised me by taking the kids to his mom's and we got to spend 26 glorious hours alone together!

We headed out to Dallas, back toward my old stomping grounds pre-marriage/kids. So sad that it has now become a novelty to be in that area. When I do get the chance to be in "the city" without kids I like to pack in all my favorite stops.

For lunch we ate at Tin Star where I got my #7 chicken and demi-glaze potato taco. LOVE it. I so wish they would put one of those over my way.

Next we stopped inside this totally hip new furniture store called I.O. Metro. Apparently the folks from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition had just swept through and cleared out a lot of their inventory for the house they are working on in Lancaster for that injured police officer. I cannot wait until we are ready to do some more decorating because this place has everything I could ever want. http://www.io-metro.com/home.asp

The Dallas store is the only one in Texas and is located near the Galleria, across the street from my other favorite store, Z Gallerie.

I needed a sugar rush so we made a pit stop at Sprinkles Cupcakes...Mmmmmm. I had the chocolate coconut and we bought a couple extra for the road. (I just ate the red velvet one but had to sneak it while the kids were watching t.v. - they can't appreciate a $3.50 cupcake).

After I came off my sugar high I needed a nap. We got a room at the Le Meridien hotel by the Galleria for just over $100 and it was fabulous! So hip - kind of art deco modern-ish. It was perfect for our one night stay. And how great it was to lay in the comfy bed all afternoon and not have to get up to hand out fruit snacks, refill sippy cups, or listen to Blue's Clues in the background. Heaven.

For dinner we wanted to try some place new. We have always seen the ads for The Old Warsaw, and even though it isn't exactly a hipster spot we decided to give it a go. It's pretty old, opened in 1948, and is considered one of Dallas' most romantic candlelit restaurants. Perfect for an anniversary date.

It kind of reminded me of a dining room on the Titanic, all these big brass chandeliers and ornate decorations. This man playing the violin strolled around the room and when he got to us he asked for my favorite song. I figured Boom Boom Pow may not be part of his repertoire so I requested Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini from the movie Somewhere in Time because I'm a total sap like that. (Aagghhh, Christopher! Don't look at the penny!!!)

He played it and the pianist accompanied him and I got all melty inside. It was beautiful. And I remembered that they played that song at my wedding while I was standing in the hallway waiting to be walked down the aisle. Perfect moment.

So it was a great anniversary and a much needed mini-break from mom-dom. The kids had a great time at Nonny's and when we reunited we were all happy and nice to each other for a whole thirty minutes.

I Been Done Wrong

2009-07-13T17:54:00.000-07:00

I am currently going through a bit of a Situation. It's one of those things that you really can't blog about but you sure wish you could. And if I could post the names and pictures of the people who have wronged me in this little fiasco it would bring me much satisfaction. And on those pictures I would draw devil ears and moustaches and write mean names under them.

But alas, I have to take the high road.

Something happened over the weekend that ruined my perfectly good Saturday. That morning went to a super cool birthday party, then I laid in bed and watched Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (cute film) while the kids napped/played, and then the four of us went all high rollin' and dined inside McDonalds (probably the fanciest Mickey Dee's on the planet). That was followed by a peaceful drive through gorgeous country neighborhoods we dream about - and we got to see a family of a mom and her 4 baby skunks.

Then I arrived home and encountered said Situation. I spent the rest of the night crying and couldn't stop. When I could sleep I dreamt about it. I feel like I've been treated so unjustly, so unfairly, and this Situation will affect my children. And that's when mama bear comes out.

Fortunately, God is in control and has a bigger, better plan. Everything will turn out just fine - no jerky people can thwart that. I'm praying hard and finding the "good" in the Situation. I'm trying to let go of my anger and hurt because it doesn't do any good.

But, man, mean people really suck.

Dear Diary Day - Vol. 2

2009-07-08T17:09:00.000-07:00

My next Dear Diary entry comes from 1987 when I was 10 years old. It was during this time that I was going through a very painful break up.

Dear Diary,
Today was half day. It was the worst day of pain. Scott broke up with me. It's February 27, 1987.

I was writing in my Beezus and Ramona Diary, which had questions in it to help prompt the journaling process. A few days after the break-up there were some questions on a page entitled "The Mishchief-Maker in Me."

Something naughty I just couldn't resist doing once was: Squirt kool-aid all over Sally.

Doing it made me feel: good and satisfied.

Something I'd really love to do now but know I won't is: Go up to Kelly Smith, she's going with Scott now, and punch her lights out.

Then on the next page I wrote:

Dear Diary,
I just found out Scott's going with Kelly. How could he like her? She's not even pretty. Just rich. I just cry all day. I can't face him, her, or my teddy bear (that he gave me for Christmas). We moved our seats and her, Sally, and Scott are in the same group!

This all happened when I was in the 5th grade. Ironically enough, that was the year that I was voted "Best Christian Example." Go figure.

This Moment In Time

2009-07-05T14:30:00.000-07:00

I'm 33 today. I don't really feel 33. I hate when I'm reading a book and there's a character who is "old" - and she's like 31. Whatever. (by the way, please do not feel you have to leave some sort of obligatory "happy birthday" comment on here...I've gotten plenty of good wishes on facebook. But thanks.)

I had the best fireworks experience of my life yesterday. You know, growing up, I always wanted to have some sort of romantic fireworks-watching experience with a guy, kind of like you see in the movies, but to my recollection I never had one.

Last night my family and some friends were out on Moss Lake in the boat, and my son was snuggled up next to me, and all around the lake fireworks were going off. The display right in front of us was by far the best one and it felt as though it was our own private show because you couldn't really see anyone around us. It was just us out there in that boat in the darkness on the still lake, listening to great music, and watching these gorgeous fireworks. It's hard to explain, but it was one of those moments in time where you just know you'll always remember. A little slice of my life that I was able to savor and appreciate.

And then we woke up this morning to a dreary, rainy day, with both jet ski's not working, the boat not going over 10 miles an hour, and our friend's water trampoline was deflated due to a nasty gash. Oh, and my car windows were open a bit so the seats and carseat got soaked. Happy Birthday!

House Party

2009-07-01T16:15:00.000-07:00

What a crazy week this is! But I like to throw in a week like this here and there. Keeps things interesting.

Yesterday I went to an Oscar Mayer Hot Dog Party. Have you heard of www.houseparty.com? It was one of those. If you're already familiar with this marketing concept, sorry to bore you. If not, let me tell you all about it!

Basically, you go to the website, check out which leading sponsors are looking for party hosts, and you apply for the ones that interest you. If you are selected they send you a party pack - a box of free stuff that relates to the party. For instance, my friend who had the hot dog party got several vouchers for free wieners, buns, etc, plus Oscar Mayer plates, napkins, and little hot dog whistles.

There's a whole page dedicated to these hot dog parties that just occurred, at http://www.houseparty.com/oscarmayer where people can blog about which toppings they liked the best, how they like their hot dogs cooked, pictures, videos, etc. Now I thought it was kind of strange that Oscar Mayer would need the publicity - it wasn't as if I ate the hot dog and was all,"Wow! This Oscar Mayer hot dog is pretty tasty! I think I'll have to try these again sometime!" but whatever. I'll take free food any way I can get it!

Some of the other parties that are taking applications right now are for Royal Caribbean, TruTV Black Gold, "Do the Barbie" Dance Party, and Canon Picture Perfect Holiday House party (which I heard at a previous Canon party they gave you a free camera!). Several people I know have either hosted or attended these parties so I don't think it's all that hard to be chosen.

I got a marketing degree way back in 1997 and am totally amazed at how drastically marketing has changed in the last 10-12 years. I'm pretty sure my degree is basically worthless now! (not that I ever used it much in the first place!)

Smoothie Snatcher

2009-06-26T11:29:00.000-07:00

We had another incident at the pool today.

When we arrived at Lifetime Fitness Center I stopped and got a $4.50 smoothie, paid for with a gift card so I didn't have to feel the pain of spending $4.50 on a smoothie. We headed straight out to the pool (and it is a GREAT pool, with a beach entrance and fun music playing...the whole place feels like a vacation) since I still can't leave Presley in the Kid's Club to go exercise on account of her never-ending cold.

We camped out on a couple of lounge chairs that were next to the table under an umbrella, which was already taken. After going back and forth from the pool to the chairs to steal some sips of my smoothie, I come back again to find it missing. I knew I had about a fourth of it left. Presley goes over to the table next to us and starts reaching for a smoothie. It also had about a fourth of it left.

I'm thinking, Is this my smoothie? Did she put it on that table? And Rylan said something about that being our smoothie, so I'm thinking, he must have seen Presley put it there...I'll just take a quick sip to see if it's the Strawberry Sunrise flavor...Yep, it is.

So I finish drinking it. Then I look in our big pool bag for my bottled water, and find MY smoothie inside. Oh crap.

Obviously Presley put my drink in my bag, luckily it didn't spill...And so I just drank the remainder of a stranger's drink. Gross, and so rude of me. What was I thinking???

I was wearing my black dark tinted sunglasses so I began scoping out all the people to see if anyone was watching us since I had no idea whose table it was. No one seemed to be paying any attention. So we went back to play in the water. I see this older couple and their grown daughter sit back down at the table. It didn't look like anyone was searching for the drink so either they saw the whole thing happen or they weren't thirsty.

Either way I felt like the biggest dork.

Dear Diary Day - Vol. 1

2009-06-25T10:31:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the inaugural edition of my new blog segment, Dear Diary Days.

Lest you think I am new to the whole blogging/journal thing, I will have you know that I have kept a journal since the third grade. And now, my friends, I am going to share with you some of those diary entries. Full of drama, intrigue, love stories, and cat-fights, you are sure to be captivated entry after entry.

I have changed many of the names in order to protect myself. Many of the people you will hear about are now on my Facebook so they would be able to hunt me down.

Before I begin there are a few things that are helpful to know about me:

1. I was born and raised in Arlington, Texas, home of Six Flags and Wet n' Wild.

2. Until the 8th grade, I went to a Christian school where sometimes there were only 3 girls in the whole class.

3. The church (and school) we went to was of the really old school Baptist variety where you couldn't wear pants or jeans and most certainly no rock n' roll music or dancing. Even Amy Grant was frowned upon.

4. I am the oldest of four kids - a sister four years younger than me, then two brothers after that.

5. I was kind of a drama queen.

Okay, so my first entry comes to us from when I was in fourth grade.

April 27, 1986
Dear Diary,
I have a new boyfriend. He is fine. His name is John. I've been going with him for a month. He wrote me a note that said I care for you and kiss me! He is my size. A little taller though. I want to kiss him BAD! [I was quite the little vixen then.]

June 15, 1986

Dear Diary, Today is Father's Day. I'm still going with John. It's summer. I miss him very much. On the last day of school he kissed me!

Now, to clarify, this kiss was pre-planned, in front of about 4 other friends of mine, in the cafeteria after school. We stood there for a long time trying to work up the nerve. Then he pecked me on the cheek and I took off running but dropped my crayon box, leaving it behind. I remember thinking that was kind of like Cinderella leaving behind her glass slipper.

I didn't know it but my mom had been sitting in the van with a carload of kids, honking the horn, waiting for me. I was so afraid she would find out - I must have had the guiltiest look on my face but she didn't ask any questions. Instead she handed me a Malibu Barbie in honor of the last day of 4th grade.

But things took a nasty turn...

August 2, 1986
Dear Diary, I'm very upset. My heart is broken. Me and Leslie called John. We asked John if he liked me. (My mom doesn't know). He said he's going with another girl. The next morning I got sick because I love him so much. I told my parents it was my lack of sleep. I am starting soccer. I'm in style. Maybe John will like me.

However, 8 days later...

August 10, 1986
Dear Diary, I called John yesterday. He said he didn't like the girl anymore! I'm going with him still. 3 weeks till school starts! Gotta go! Bye!

Well, John and I didn't last. I can't remember what went wrong, but it's never just one reason, is it? I guess we just weren't meant to be.

Tread Lightly

2009-06-24T11:01:00.001-07:00

This week I feel like I'm in

But I am wishing I was here...

or even here...

Why?

Sick baby

No gym

Cramps I haven't seen the likes of since 1995

No sleep (due to cramps and sick baby)

Son won't go to VBS so he's home all day, every day

I am in a terrible, cranky mood

The upside is

I haven't killed anyone**

I haven't beaten anyone**

My husband hasn't left me**

My friends haven't deserted me**

** That I know of

Designer Jeans Sale

2009-06-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of The Warehouse Sale? It's this sample sale that comes through several major cities, including Dallas, where they have racks and racks of designer jeans at up to 80% of the original price!

I went a couple years ago and got the cutest Citizens of Humanity jeans for $90 and the original price tag said $180. To find out more about it and when it's coming near you, go to http://www.thewarehousesale.com. Here's the ad for the next one coming to Dallas.

Shooting in Corinth Park

2009-06-22T17:39:00.001-07:00

Um, yeah, this happened today, down the street from where I live. It's not the park we usually go to, but still. A little too close to home. I'm thinking we'll skip the park for a while.

CORINTH — In an incident that police describe as "random," a woman was shot and wounded by an unknown assailant at a Corinth city park Monday as her children played nearby.

Police said the woman was at Fairview Park on Swisher Road when she was approached by a middle-aged white male who spoke to her briefly, left, and then returned and opened fire.

The unidentified woman, who was not seriously injured, was taken to John Peter Smith Hospital in Fort Worth for treatment. She told police she did not know the man, nor did he attempt to rob her. Her children were not hurt.

Corinth police said the assailant fled in a small silver or light green car and remains at large.

**Update on 6/23 - Some 50 year old white guy turned himself in to police. They don't know what his motive was. But I am so relieved!

If Moms Were Super Heroes

2009-06-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

If Moms were super heroes I think there's a good chance that their special super power would be Flexibility. Because, oh my gosh, that's what being a mom is all about.

"Have no fear! Flexi-Mom is here! Able to rearrange five people's schedules at a moment's notice because the baby has rotavirus! Expands the hours in the day in order to fit in that last minute t-ball practice! Keeps a smile on her face while she cancels/reschedules the Girl's Night Out she has been planning for weeks all because her babysitter fell through at the last minute! She always has a Plan A, B, and C....It's Flexi-Mom!"

The last couple of days have been like this for me. We went to the lake this weekend. Presley had a bad cold to begin with, but then she had a really rough night on Saturday and I barely slept. On Sunday I ended up having to skip out on all the fun and the Father's Day cookout we had planned in order to get her home to her own bed. Instead of having a steak and potato I ate a bowl of cereal.

Then this morning I woke up early and got showered and dressed to take Rylan to another VBS (Vacation Bible School). This one was being held at the church of the school he goes to. I had so many things planned to get done every morning this week while I only had one kid with me. And honestly, there are very few FREE kid's things left in this world and VBS is one of them. I wanted to take advantage of that!

We got there and had to stand in two long lines. When we finally got to where his group was sitting we realized that he wasn't put with his friends. He didn't know anyone and the leader was so busy with the parents that she wasn't able to welcome him and make him feel comfortable. It just pretty much blew it for him. He decided then and there that he was most certainly NOT going to be staying.

I'm usually one of those moms who would say, "No, you're staying, you'll be fine. Bye!" but my gut was telling me to take him home. Someone said he could switch groups to be with his friends but by that point he just wasn't going to do it. His big beautiful eyes were all welled up with tears and I didn't have the heart to leave him. And then on our way out the door he gets his first nosebleed. So we run back inside to the bathroom and take care of that. (By the way, lean forward or backward? I can't remember).

So I was really glad that he wasn't sitting with a bunch of strangers when blood started pouring out his nose. Then he'd be "the kid with the bloody nose" all week. And no one wants to be that kid.

I've learned that as a mom, you can either roll with the punches or just really get knocked down every time things don't go as planned. But I think it would be a pretty miserable life if you didn't learn this lesson. So, I'm kind of glad that we don't have to get out the door early every morning this week. I need to come up with some other plans, but I'm just going to look at this as a blessing in disguise. Anyone up for a playdate?

I'd love to hear your comments if you have a really good story of how you totally had to be flexible. For instance, a friend of mine planned a brunch for all the mom's in our kids' preschool class. She sent out cute little invitations, made all this food, cleaned her house...and then her daughter woke up at 3am throwing up and she had to cancel the morning of. That just bites.

So please leave your story! Then I can read them on days when I want to feel sorry for myself.

Thoughts on Cookie

2009-06-21T17:17:00.000-07:00

Do any of you read Cookie magazine? I've had a subscription since it came out two or three years ago. Let me just tell you, it is not your grandmother's Parenting magazine.

I'm pretty sure that I don't fit their target audience but I like to read it anyway. It seems like they assume the reader is working in a high profile career and living in New York City. Which makes it so much more fun to read than the magazines that are really intended for the common folk like myself.

For instance, instead of your run of the mill ads for Baby Orajel and Johnson's Baby Shampoo, you've got Burberry for Kids, Gucci, and Tiffany & Co. And why serve your kids Pigs in a Blanket when Cookie has a savory recipe for Warm Spinach and Orzo Salad? Yummy! My children ask for it by name!

A couple months ago they urged us to exchange our casual uniform of jeans and tee's to skinny jeans and a fitted blazer. The photo was of cream jeans, cream blazer ($425), and pink heels ($215). Cream. Now don't you think that's just asking for it? Not to mention, if I showed up to the next playdate at Mickey D's wearing stilettos, I would probably get beat up by all the other moms. Or at least slapped silly. I mean, Who does that? Not in my world, Thank You God.

I do enjoy seeing all the photo spreads of little kids' bedrooms. They usually have hipster artist parents and their rooms are really artsy and minimalistic. These are the kids that don't watch TV and instead make origami all day or something like that. Those are the parents who actually buy the ambiguous kid's albums by some folk artist I've never heard of, also featured in this magazine.

And who doesn't enjoy feeling inferior when (since this is, after all, a Conde Nast publication) they feature travel essays on places like Switzerland and Ireland - fun for the whole family! My kids are stuck going to San Antonio. Again.

But what I really wanted to share with you are some of their Father's Day gift ideas. I know, I'm getting this to you the night of. I am so sorry. Maybe you can use these ideas for next year.

First up, the Genesis Espresso Coffee Pot, $386.

Next we have the Otto wooden fan, $200.
And finally, my personal favorite, the Ralph Lauren Leather and Crystal Ice Bucket, $395.
Yes, $395. (I'm pretty sure I'd be served with divorce papers if I spent this kind of money on an ICE BUCKET).

I mean, seriously? Do people really spend this kind of money on these kinds of things for their husbands? Who are these people? If this is you, please oh please leave a comment and identify yourself.

I'm Being Filtered

2009-06-18T21:38:00.000-07:00

Often times I'm only half-listening to my four year old when he ~~drones on and on~~ converses with me about everything from:

"Mom, the number of the day is 7 and the letter of the day is B" or

"Which train do you like better, Thomas or Percy?" or

"Mom, what's 2 minus 4?" (do I really have to explain how negative numbers work this early?)

and then today, after getting in trouble, it was:

"Mom, I wish a T-Rex lived with you. Then he would eat you up."

I'll admit it, a lot of times I just respond with, "Really," and it's not "Really?", you know, with a question mark. It's "Really." As in OH MY GOSH PLEASE STOP TALKING YOU ARE HURTING MY EARS. Because these conversations start to wear you out sometime after about 10am.

And each time I respond that way it sounds familiar, like I've heard this response and tone from someone else. Then I realized: It's my husband.

For instance, when I told him about my crazy pool day (see Mommish.com: Pool Day: A Comedy of Errors ), while all my girlfriends responded with an appropriate OH MY GOSH! ARE YOU KIDDING?, All he said was a flat, unaffected "Really."

I called him out on the fact that he often responds to me the same way I do to our kids and he did not deny it. He said something along the lines of: "You say so many things that I have to filter through it all and just pay attention to the important parts."

No offense taken. I'm a girl. Girls talk. It's how we are made. I'm pretty sure this video sums it up perfectly - Proof that we are BORN this way.

The Time Traveler's Wife

2009-06-18T05:51:00.000-07:00

Do you know how often I see a movie trailer and get all giddy and excited and start counting down the days until its release? Hardly ever. Because movies suck these days. I cannot stinking wait for The Time Traveler's Wife.

I just started the book by Audrey Niffenegger and so far it has totally pulled me in. It's one of those great reads that completely takes over your life, makes your house go to pot, and you ~~plop your kids in front of the television~~ find educational things to keep your kids busy while they stay in their pajamas, unbathed, for days. It's that kind of book.

The movie stars the adorable Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana, who is easy on the eyes. I hope it is as good as it looks in the preview. It comes out in August so if you want to read the book first you have a couple of months.

Update on 6/21 - I just finished the book and it did not disappoint. However, I should warn you that if you like your books a bit more PG rated then just know that there is liberal use of the F word and some graphic love scenes. Also, be prepared to have some really annoying time travel dreams. Trust me.

(The video is a little off-center, I have no idea how to fix that.)

Indoor Girl

2009-06-17T11:36:00.000-07:00

This week I'm doing my very first Vacation Bible School. I totally lucked out and got a group of sweet third grade girls, some of whom were in my Sunday school class, so I have it really easy.

I have to be honest though and tell you that I'm really not much of a kid person. I love my own kids, and I like my friends' kids, but I don't just LOVE other people's kids. Not like some do. Sometimes I wonder if this makes me a bad person. Kind of like someone who doesn't like dogs. (Not really a dog person either. But I do like puppies.)

I've always been a little leery of helping out with kid's things like camp and VBS because I am just not "silly." I don't act goofy and am not really a fan of choreographed songs. (Although I do have to say we have come a looong way from Father Abraham - our VBS songs were actually pretty fun.) I didn't like these things when I was a kid, either. What I really hated back in the day were the outdoor games. I mean, I LOATHED this part. I either faked being sick, acted like I was going to have a heat stroke, said I had cramps...whatever it took to get me in the shade or back indoors. I'm not loving game time at VBS but at least I don't have to actually play the games. Just a spectator.

One thing I have enjoyed this week is seeing how so many different kinds of talents come together to pull this thing off. The sets are beautiful, the decorations are very creative, the music people are fantastic, the lady teaching the bible stories is so captivating. It's just cool to see all the different parts of the body of Christ being used at the same time for one purpose.

Which always makes me a tad uneasy, because I think, "What is my role?" I'm not especially good at any of those things. Can't sing, can't dance, can't paint, can't cook, can't decorate....But, I do love on my girls and I think they know that I care about them. I talk to them like they are individual people and try to show them God's love. It may not be much, but hopefully it is enough.

The Best Loved Doll

2009-06-16T18:56:00.000-07:00

I have been racking my brain for the last couple of months about this precious book I read when I was a little girl. Finally I remembered the title and googled it. I wondered if any of you remember reading it, too. It's called The Best Loved Doll by Rebecca Caudill.

As I read the following description online I got all teary eyed! I guess it's just that flood of nostalgia. I can remember feeling so deeply for the doll named Jennifer. Maybe this book is the reason why I always felt guilty if I paid more attention to one doll or stuffed animal over another! At any rate, I cannot wait until Presley is old enough for me to read it to her.

Here's the description I found online:

"Betsy has to think hard when she is asked to take a doll to a party at which prizes will be given for the oldest doll, the best-dressed doll, and the doll who can do the most things. Should she take Melissa who is a hundred years old, Belinda who wears a hand-sewn wedding dress of white taffeta, or Mary Jane who can sew a seam?
After looking at her dolls for a while, she snatches Jennifer from the bed. Jennifer who is five years old, who wears a faded dress and can't do anything but smile. Jennifer who has played so hard her hair is tangled, her nose is cracked, and her eyes don't blink. Jennifer who is her best-loved doll.
What happens when they get to the party makes for a story that was a favorite when it was first published in 1962. Thirty years later, the story of Betsy's love and loyalty will find a place in the hearts of little girls everywhere."

The Return of the Drive-by

2009-06-14T17:55:00.000-07:00

Guess what! It's Bonus Blog Sunday, and I'm giving you the two-fer-one special! Are you so excited?

For the record, I'm almost 33, married for 9 years, mother of two, and I just did a drive-by.

But I can explain! Do you watch The Bachelorette? I haven't watched those shows in years but I figured since there was nothing on tv this summer I'd give this one a try, just to have something to do one night a week. There's this adorable guy on there named Jake. He's 32, a commercial pilot, total boy scout. And as luck would have it, he lives 5 minutes from me in Lantana, and a couple blocks over from a good friend of mine!

We weren't sure of his last name so she couldn't look him up on the handy Lantana intranet and find out all his information. Because we really need that information, because...why? No idea. Anyhoo, I was getting my hair done yesterday and I'm talking to my hair stylist about the show, and she says that the salon owner's step-daughter is married to Jake's brother. And I scored his last name! So I text my friend, who coincidentally just happens to be on the Lantana intranet again to see if she can figure it out. She enters in the last name, and Wallah! We have a winner!

So seeing as how I was going to her house that night anyway, and I was running a few minutes early, I take a detour and drive past Jake's house. A red truck with a guy wearing a baseball cap passes me and I am craning my neck to see if it's him...can't tell. But thrilling all the same!

It was such a throwback to my high school/college days. Oh, you know you did it too. I can't be the only pathetic one out there. It was so fun to re-live a little bit of that kind of pre-married drama! My friend is single so I felt like it was more legit, like I was sort of helping her in a way. Right? Right??

The Fat Parts

2009-06-14T17:34:00.000-07:00

At what age do you just stop sugar-coating things and simply state the plain truth? My mother-in-law has definitely reached that stage in life.

Last summer we were playing in the lake and I was wearing my two piece, which is reserved for family only because I'm a bit self conscious these days. She wanted to get a picture of me and the kids and she said, "Don't worry, I won't get any of your fat parts." (see resulting photo of me and kids, minus my fat parts, below)

Now, before you jump up and shout, "Oh No She Di-in't!" I can honestly say that she meant zero malice. Which was what was so shocking, yet refreshing! For all the millions of people who read this blog and don't know me, I am a petite gal and weigh about a buck-oh-two. Yet for some reason my stomach looks like I've had a couple kids via c-section. So weird.

Now, lest I think that all my time at the gym has paid off for me over the course of a year, this summer we were sitting in the same place at the lake, and I'm wearing the family-reserve bikini again. I was telling her how I may need to get a head shot taken for this project I'm doing, maybe I'll go get a Glamor Shot, ha ha. And she says, "You might want to wear your one piece for that."

I swear, I really do love her! And all her fat parts. Oh, snap!

Thanks for the Tip, MB!

2009-06-13T05:59:00.000-07:00

I was just eating my bowl of cereal and the Candyland instructions were lying on the table. For lack of anything better to read I glanced over them. There's a Special Optional Rule for older players where you can have them draw two cards at a time. This will help them make decisions, "as well as speeds up gameplay." I just found that hysterical. I mean, it's like the good people at Milton Bradley know what a beating their game is - they are parents too - and they are just trying to throw us a bone.

Every day around 2:00, shortly after Presley goes down for a nap, you can find me and Rylan at the kitchen table playing this classic game. I'm usually downing a thermos of coffee at this same time. (At least it's not a gin and tonic.) The other day I swear I could not lose. And since it's a game of chance there wasn't much to be done about it. I mentioned it to a friend and she said the trick is to hold onto the ice cream card and slip it in when the situation is looking dire. So that's what I did yesterday. And I got to get back to reading my book shortly thereafter. Yes, I am horrible.

I'm reading My Sister's Keeper before the movie comes out. Oh my gosh, it is such a hard read. The beginning was just awful because it describes the little girl getting diagnosed with the leukemia when she's two and she has blond curly hair, just like Presley. The book does get into a couple of other story lines, thankfully, and it is so well written. A lot of times I go for the feel good, fluffy books but I try to throw in things like this to keep things in perspective. It's not fun to think about but millions of people live this life. I am so, so, so blessed that so far this has not been our cross to bear. And it makes me hold my kids a little closer. And suffer through "just one more" round of Candyland.

My Job

2009-06-11T17:55:00.000-07:00

Conversation at my house this morning:

Rylan: Mom, does Nonny have to work today?
Me: Yes

Rylan: Does Daddy have to work today?
Me: Yes

Rylan: Do you have to work today?
Me: Yes. My job is to take care of you and your sister.

Rylan: But Daddy does your job sometimes. And he does a better job.

Me: (in my head) Thanks. Thank you. Son, do you know what paybacks are?

My daughter, on the other hand, has decided that she has to have a bow every time she goes to bed. Which is funny because she won't keep a bow on during the day when we are actually out in public.

Today the only way I could get her to go down for a nap was to rock her completely to sleep. I confess that I enjoyed this and let the moment linger a bit after she totally passed out. I like to silently pray over her in those sweet moments and try to memorize the feeling of having her in my arms like that. So she's completely snoozing and I lift her up to put her in her crib, when she whispers, "I want a bow." Seriously? She cracks me up.

The Confident Mom

2009-06-09T04:54:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was a busy one and I happened to be around a lot of other moms at various activities. We talked about a lot of mom stuff and yesterday I got to thinking about how much I have grown as a parent in the last 5 years.

I have learned not to judge others for the way they raise their kids (to a point, I mean), and I have also learned not to worry that just because someone else is doing things a certain way it doesn't mean that I'm doing it WRONG.

One mom I talked to has three kids in elementary school and is very extreme about school. Public school is not even on her radar. She was telling me about all these kinds of ways to teach math - Chicago math, Kumon math, etc. I'm listening, trying not to freak out, because I thought math was math. I had no idea there were all these controversies out there on the best way to teach it. So they are doing home school and possibly a hybrid of private/home school next year, in order to be sure that her kids are getting the very best education possible.

This same mom is also the organic lady. She buys most everything from Whole Foods and is a great cook. Her kids don't eat processed foods. So when they come to the lake with us they pretty much bypass the cheeseburgers, Cheetos, oatmeal cream pies, and soda. They bring in their own stuff and she cooks up some gourmet fish dinner she got off of Food Network. We, on the other hand, are known to jaunt out to The Smokehouse in Lindsey for some chicken fried steak and okra. Mmmm.

I can only imagine what she would think if she knew my son had a Pop Tart for breakfast five out of seven days a week. Or that a successful dinner for my kids is that they ate a couple dinosaur chicken nuggets and a few bites of corn. I sure don't want her to find out about all the candy that their father (who I swear is worse than any grandparent) sneaks to them when he gets home from work.

Another mom I was around was telling me about her summer plans for her three kids. I just love this girl, she's so organized and intentional. She has the whole month of June planned out, including family field trips for weekends. Her third kid didn't slow her down at all from what I can tell. She's still actively serving in the church and that baby just files into place. Presley is almost 2 and I still would like to use her as an excuse as to why I can't do certain things. Not this lady. She just rocks.

My point to all of this is that I think even two or three years ago I would have felt so inferior to these moms. I would have been so worried that I was a horrible mother and not "doing it right." But now I can listen to them, possibly learn something that I'd like to try in our home, and move on. My kids will go to public school, when I can afford to buy organic I do, and I fall somewhere in the middle on having a "plan" for our summer days.

I am so glad I have reached this point because that first year was a doozy. When the nursing thing didn't work with Rylan I felt so inadequate and ashamed. And the Babywise controversy - aughh. I sent Rylan to Mother's Day Out when he turned one and no one else I knew did. I'm sure we've all been there.

It's just like anything else in life. We need to seek what God has for us, not for everyone else.

The Man Quiz

2009-06-08T11:24:00.000-07:00

I wrote this quiz for a side project I'm working on. It's supposed to be taken by the husbands but I thought you all might get a kick out of it. You may want to take it for him to help determine what kind of Father's Day gift he'll be receiving this year.

(side note: Blogger has the worst options for formatting. If you want the Word document of this let me know and I'll email it to you.)

1. You come home from a long day at work, sit on the couch, turn on ESPN, and begin the vegging process. Your wife sits down next to you and begins telling you about her day. You respond by:
a. Staring at the television and grunting every 30 seconds or so to make her think you are listening.

b. Staring at the television and turning your head to quickly glance her direction every so often, saying, "uh huh" and "really."

c. Make full eye contact and engage in an actual two-person dialogue where you comment on her stories, ask questions, and provide information about your day.

2. It's your wife's birthday. To celebrate the occasion you:
a. Do nothing. You completely forgot.

b. Tell her happy birthday and take her to Chili's.

c. Buy her a thoughtful gift and take her to a nice restaurant (the kind where you at least use a linen napkin).

3. You're having a crazy week at work and you're going to have to work late tonight. You:
a. Get so busy working that you forget to call her, leaving her to wonder if you'll be home for the dinner she prepared.

b. Call her and tell her you'll be working late, and act as if you have zero regrets about the fact that you won't be able to spend time with her that evening.

c. Call her and let her know you'll be working late, and that it sucks because you so wished you could be home spending the evening with her. And that you'll make up for it that weekend by taking her to dinner.

4. Your wife bought a new dress and wears it for the first time. You:
a. Say, "How much did that dress cost?"

b. Ask, "New dress?" and don't say whether or not it looks nice on her, leaving her to assume that you hate it.

c. Exclaim, "Wow! You look hot!"

5. The kids have been especially crazy today and your wife vents to you about it. You respond by saying:
a. "That's just part of your job."

b. "Sounds like a bad day."

c. "Honey, you go in the other room and relax. I'll handle the kids for the rest of the night."

6. Your wife is sick. The kids need to be fed, supervised, and entertained. You have to go to work so you:
a. Shower, get dressed, and walk out the door as usual.

b. Get the kids some breakfast and call a couple of times to check on her.

c. Either find someone else to come over and help or you arrange to take the day off/leave early so that you can manage the kids and make her some chicken soup.

7. You and your wife are at your high school's Homecoming football game. You run into your high school sweetheart, who has aged very nicely. After you leave you say:
a. "Dude! She's hotter than I remember!"

b. "Huh. Glad to see she's doing well."

c. "Honey, I am so glad I'm married to you!"

8. There's a dinner party that has been on the calendar for weeks. Your wife told you about it but you didn't really pay attention to when it was. Now that it's the week of (and your wife has RSVP'd, bought a new outfit, and anticipated it for days) you realize it's the same night as the National Championship Game. So you:
a. Tell her you didn't realize it was the same night, sorry, but you just can't miss this. She'll understand.

b. Go to the party, but you ask the host to put the game on and you keep hopping up from the table to "check the score."

c. Set your Tivo, go to the party, and when it's over you come home and watch the game without commercials.

9. The garbage disposal has been broken for a week and your wife is begging you to fix it. You:
a. Take six months to get around to looking at it. You don't do the dishes so it doesn't affect you. Plus you figure your mother didn't have a garbage disposal system when you were growing up so she'll be fine without it.

b. Look at it the following Saturday. You realize it needs a part from the hardware store. Three more weeks go by and you finally get around to purchasing it and completing the project.

c. Look at it right away, figure out what is wrong, drive to Home Depot at 8:30 at night, buy the part, and finish the project by 10:30p.m.

10. You and your wife haven't had the opportunity to see a movie in ages. Now you finally have a free night. There's a new action movie out, filled with lots of blood and gore, but your wife really wants to see the new chick flick. You:
a. Tell her she can go see the chick flick with her friend another time and buy the tickets for your action film.

b. Tell her to go see her movie and you'll see yours, and you'll hook up in the lobby afterward.

c. Suck it up and see the chick flick, even though you are the only male in the entire theater, save for the gay couple sitting next to you.

Scoring:
a = 1 point
b = 2 points
c = 3 points

Score of 10-15 points:
Dude, seriously?

Score of 16-22 points:
You are average. Do you really want to be average?

Score of 23-30 points:
You rock the house! Hopefully your wife knows this.

Green Acres Here I Come - NOT

2009-06-08T05:35:00.000-07:00

I'm the kind of girl who has certain needs.

I don't feel ashamed about it - It's who I am. Unfortunately, my DH and I do not have the same needs. At all.

Lance has this dream of moving to some small town to raise our kids and his main requirement is that they have a good athletic program. Not because our children are displaying signs of great athletic prowess, but because it is in his blood. He's the son of a head football coach/athletic director and he wants his kids to benefit from an excellent athletic program. But he also wants them to grow up away from all the "stuff" and live a more simple life. A one high school town.

So yesterday on our way to the lake he takes a detour to show me the town of Decatur, Texas. It's where his dad had his first head football coaching position and he turned the program around and they've been good ever since. I swear we drove and drove and drove down this highway of blah. I tried to have an open mind but as we drove through the area there was NOTHING about it that said, "Hey! Move here!"

In fact, I think I probably had the countenance of a teenager who was being forced to go to dinner with her parents on a Friday night. He showed me the high school. The football stadium. A couple neighborhoods with nice houses. The small strip of highway that boasted a Wal-Mart and a Chili's. Not impressed. He said, "Think of the kids!"

And I am! How long would it take me and Presley to get to a decent mall? Our family to reach a decent restaurant? A real movie theater?

Here are my criteria of things that must be found within 15 minutes of any town I'd be willing to move to:

Super Target.
Either a respectable mall or an outdoor lifestyle center that has lots of good stores such as a Barnes and Noble, Ann Taylor Loft, and Children's Place.
Good restaurants - because this momma does not cook every night.
A real gym like LA Fitness or Lifetime. Not some rinky-dink local gym inside a metal building.
Nice, new facilities for things like kid's classes, nail salons, and doctor's offices. I hate old buildings (unless they are cute historic ones). I like new, new, new. I have become so spoiled. Sue me.

There has got to be a way we can compromise. I have said I'd be willing to move to Argyle. It's a little further out from where my "life" is, but I can still get there within 15 minutes and still have the kids in an excellent, small, school district. We're not in a position to move right now anyway, but just developing a list of options for when that day comes.

As we drove back toward the lake I said, "I am NOT moving there." And he said, "We'll see."

Corinth is starting to look better and better all the time.

Pool Day: A Comedy of Errors

2009-06-04T18:56:00.000-07:00

As I was running around the house this morning gathering up all of our things to take with us to the gym/pool at Lifetime I was thinking "Man, I've got it made! Instead of going to some office all day I get to go workout, then hang out by the pool with the kids all morning. Life is good!"

And life IS good. But here's what that looked like in reality.

We get to the gym and I have my membership card ready. Oops, that's my library card. I put Presley down to fish out the gym card from my wallet. She runs straight for the spa (insert comment here). I throw down my bags and haul her back over, gather my belongings, and we are off to the Kid's Club.

I don't have my iPod because it was left at the lake last weekend. Major bummer. And I can't find my Camelback thermos anywhere and that is making me crazy. I hate losing things. I am wearing a baseball cap because I haven't washed my hair in a couple days and I needed to hide the evidence. But with a baseball cap on it's too hot for me to run so I have to downgrade my cardio to the elliptical machine. I feel like a slacker when I don't run for my cardio.

I have a summer membership to Lifetime while my LA Fitness one is on freeze. I am noticing that there is a much larger representation of the "trophy wife" crowd at Lifetime. I steal glances at them and think mean things.

Workout is over, time for me to get my swimsuit on before I get the kids. I packed two: the two piece's top is giving me trouble - can't get the clasp to work right. So I put on the cheap ($6) Old Navy one piece I just bought. This is important information for later - the elastic around the bottom of the suit is not very good. In fact, it's almost as if I had only paid $6 for it.

The kids and I grab lunch in the cafe and then I get them changed into their suits. We get outside to the pool area... right when they are beginning their 10 minute break. Crap. How do you explain to a 1 year old that she can't get in the water that is right in front of her because the 20 year old lifeguards need to sit a few yards away and discuss their evening plans? That was a long 10 minutes.

Also, I cannot find my sunglasses. My eyes are so sensitive - they are not in either one of my bags. Grrr. Presley is all over the pool area and I'm chasing her down. She finds a strawberry on the ground and puts it in her mouth before I can get to her. She goes to everyone's chairs and tries to drink their drinks and eat their food. She throws a tantrum because she wants to play on the "playground" (a.k.a., super huge water slide). This is so much fun!

After 40 minutes I'm about ready to call it a day when I feel something tickling my inner thigh. Let's just say that everyone at the pool (and there were a LOT of people) knows that this is my time of the month. Dear Lord. Tip: Don't wear a cheap swimsuit with weak elastic on the bottom whenever Aunt Flo is in town.

I throw on my cover up and get the kids into the changing room. I start looking for my car keys. They aren't in either bag. My heart is pounding. What on earth are we going to do? I ask the front desk and yes, they have my keys. And are these your sunglasses, ma'am? Aha! I left both on the counter as I chased down Presley when we walked in.

We get to the car and Rylan starts to open the door and his finger gets pinched in the handle and he can't get it loose. I'm trying not to put Presley down so she doesn't run off and get hit by a car and it felt like an eternity before I could free his hand. Meanwhile he's screaming bloody murder.

And that was my leisurely day by the pool.

Errand Day Madness

2009-05-28T12:34:00.000-07:00

This morning I took the kids along with me to run several errands, which is always such a joy. At our second store - Toys R Us - Presley started throwing an all out tantrum. She would not sit in the cart, would not let me hold her, just began to completely freak out.

So I'm at the cash register and I'm struggling to hold onto her since she's half my size now, and she's screaming and thrashing around. And the cashier asks me for my phone number. I hate how they do that. And then he asks if I need any batteries. Then he had the nerve to ask if I wanted to join their customer club. Oh, yes, please let me fill out a form! That's exactly what I want to do right now! Are you blind, man?

We get in the car and I decide on a whim that I am taking these kids to Kiddin' Around for an hour. It's this heavenly place in Highland Village that is described as an upscale hourly playcare facility. It is wonderful! You don't need an appointment and there are tons of things for the kids to do. It costs me about $10/hour for both kids so I felt it would be well worth it if I could just go to Hobby Lobby and eat a Which Wich sandwich all by myself. So that's what I did.

However, my plan backfired. I returned an hour later only to find out that my darling daughter had been asleep in the swing (which I thought was really weird but they said she climbed into it and asked them to turn on Barney, like she owns the place) for 30 minutes. I dare not wake her. But now my entire afternoon would be thrown off since there was no hope of her napping at home so I could get some things done. I left and ran more errands (thus spending more money, oops) and they called an hour later when she woke up.

But it was so worth it. And here's why: I went into Belk - are you familiar with that store? and I got the cutest Sweet Pea blouse for $18, down from $68. Seriously! And I went to the register thinking it was going to be $33 as it was written on the tag. The cashier said that most of their sales are like that - you take half off whatever is written on the tag. Okay, this is my new fav store! They have this really cute section of more upscale trendy clothes and with sales like that, I'll be dropping by more often. Point is, I would have never gone into the store, much less scoured through the racks and tried things on, had I had the kids with me. So it all worked out! Hurray!

Healthy Body Image Recipe, by Brooke Shields

2009-05-25T12:15:00.001-07:00

I just read the most ridiculous thing on AOL. Brooke Shields apparently told Health magazine that her biggest health regret is that she waited too long (age 22) to lose her virginity. Wait, WHAT?

She said she thinks she would have been happier with her body image if she had started having sex at a younger age. I mean, wow. Hollywood has the craziest ideas about things but this took me off guard. She has two young daughters. You think she'll be encouraging them to be promiscuous when they are in middle school, you know, for their body images?

Just another reminder not to buy into what the world tells you, because this is a prime example of the absurdity of its value system. I'll go ahead and take the Bible and its old fashioned, irrelevant principles, thank you.

Free Bonuses With Membership

2009-05-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

This is why I love staying home. It is 10:20am on a Thursday morning, and the kids and I are still in our pajamas since it is pouring down rain and we have nowhere we have to be today. Glorious!

As hard as it can be sometimes (mainly on the mental game) to be a stay at home mom, I have to remind myself of all the bonuses it comes with that I so easily take for granted.

Now of course there are the obvious perks of getting to spend quality time with the kids, yada yada yada, but I'm just talking about the frosting here:

#1. I rarely have to set my alarm. This means I can usually wake up naturally, around 6:45 or 7:00. If I was a working girl I'm sure this would be pushed back to 5:30 in order to get ready and make the commute. Of course, if I was a better Christian, I'd be setting my alarm at 6:15 in order to have my daily prayer and devotion time. But at least I still have something I can aspire to, right?

#2. I am able to get to the gym on a regular basis. As a result, I get one hour of free childcare and have built up my strength and endurance and am now running faster and further than I ever thought possible. Definitely gives me a sense of accomplishment! (and hopefully a decent swimsuit bod, albeit a one piece unless I get that tummy tuck I have fantasized about ever since baby number 2).

#3. Two words: Nap time.

#4. Plenty of time to spend on Facebook and maintain a faux social life.

#5. Plenty of time to write this blog for my own personal enjoyment, even though no one probably reads it except you, Mom.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go. Presley poured out a box of goldfish all over the carpet, and I just heard the ficas tree crash downstairs. But in two more hours I'll be folding laundry while watching the rest of last night's Lost episode when the crazy girl naps.

What a Sellout

2009-05-05T17:03:00.000-07:00

First off, good thing we didn't go to California because school is reopening on Thursday. So that's good news!

I just heard that Heidi from The Hills is going to do an 8 page spread in Playboy for $500K, full nudity. Most of you probably don't watch this show but I have to confess that Lance and I have followed it from the Laguna Beach days. This is a girl who grew up in Crested Butte in a very conservative Christian family. Last June she said she hoped to record a Christian album and has always felt this crazy connection to God. She considers herself a non-denominational Baptist (huh?). Her physical transformation has been amazing to watch, what with all the plastic surgery she's gone through.

Her high school boyfriend was on the show last week and reminded me of many a guy from my youth group. Totally wholesome, value-oriented, etc. Heidi's fiancee Spencer was dogging him the whole time about being a virgin, studying his Bible...he told the guy that he was like an alien from another planet. (By the way, I think Spencer is the most vile person on television, save for that awful Kelly on Real Housewives of NYC). The guy's sweet, albeit naive, current girlfriend brought up the elephant in the room and told Heidi how "totally different" she looked now compared to the pictures her mom had shown her of when she was in high school. Totally awkward moment, loved it!!!

I guess I just really hated hearing about the Playboy thing since the girl is probably my sister in Christ. The girl just got totally sucked in to the Hollywood machine and is now married to the biggest creep I've ever witnessed. I cannot imagine what her mother must think. Of course, on the show it looks like her mom is totally broken hearted over her daughter's life choices, but I just found out that in this week's US Weekly she's quoted as saying that Spencer and Heidi are so perfect for one another and how she adores him. So I'm not sure if she's lying, the show is that scripted, or if the tabs are lying. In any case, I just think it's sad. If my daughter grew up and did this...I can't even imagine! (By the way, my children will have to sign a waiver at age 16 that they will NEVER sign on to do a reality show.)

The Best Laid Plans...

2009-05-04T16:54:00.000-07:00

Our trip is off, for now.

I'm so so so bummed. Lance called at 3:00 and said that their very best family friends since the 1970's are going to lose their 29 year old daughter to cancer in the next couple of days. My mother in law and husband both need to be here when that happens and not off at some California theme park.

I was so crushed and disappointed - I have been planning/packing for 3 days and knowing this trip was coming is the only way I have managed to stay sane with two crazy kids, no husband, pouring rain, and swine flu cancellations left and right. I cried for about 5 minutes, called my best friend, and then started unpacking. And praying for this dear family because I cannot even imagine what they are going through. Suddenly, things didn't seem so bad over here.

Now I'm trying to drum up plans for the rest of the week. My husband is supposed to be coming home soon, hopefully tomorrow. We have that house rented through the end of the month so we hope to still get out there for a short trip.

But I have a feeling that daddy is going to come home to find mommy sitting in a corner rocking back and forth sucking her thumb. Because it has been one of those weeks. (And he'll also find the bottom stair with the smudged traces of black crayon, thanks to my lovely daughter who used it as her coloring page. Love that stupid white Berber carpet that I picked out at age 23.)

California Dreamin

2009-05-03T17:46:00.000-07:00

We're going to turn lemons into lemonade over here. Lance left last Thursday to go open a new franchise in California and will be gone for a while, so when on Friday afternoon I got the news that Rylan's school would be closed all this week due to Swine Flu (excuse me, H1N1 virus), I almost had a meltdown. These kids are so insane when daddy is out of town.

But, with some quick planning, we decided to make this week a family vacation in California. My mother-in-law works in the same school district that is closed so she is going with us - so glad I'll have some help on the plane! We have a house rented for this month while they train the new store so we don't even have to pay for a hotel - and it's on the beach!

I'm still working on the itinerary but a day at Disneyland is definitely going to make the cut. I'm so excited! Probably more so than the kids. So I guess we're having our "summer" vacation a little early this year which is fine by me. Less crowds, better weather.

And I can bet you money that I'll spend the week after we get back day dreaming about relocating our family there and raising our kids to be cute little surfers. Shoot, I'm dreaming about it now. (Are the spray-on tan and fake boobs standard issue upon arrival?)

Note to Guy at my Gym

2009-04-29T10:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Frizzy Ponytail Guy with the Creepy Goatee at my Gym:

So I know we go to the gym at the same time almost every day and now after a few weeks it’s a little bit awkward. I mean, every morning you are on that exercise bike and I’m on the elliptical machine a few spots down, and we exchange a look but can’t say anything because we are strangers.

However. Lately I’ve noticed that you keep looking at me all throughout my workout. I am concerned because sometimes you catch me looking at you to see if you are looking at me, and I fear that you may take this as a good sign. It is not.

Maybe I am misinterpreting the situation. Perhaps you are just admiring my mad cardio skills? Or do I possibly remind you of your 10th grade girlfriend?

In any case, I’d appreciate it if you could try to keep your eyes to yourself so that I don’t have to feel so self-conscious during my workouts. I’m sure you are a nice guy (despite the fact that you look like you just walked off the cover of an 80’s hair band album).

All the best,
Stephanie

Puppy Therapy

2009-04-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I need a little shot of happiness I take the kids to the pet store. At Petland in Lewisville they have tons of puppies and they let you take them to a little stall and play. I'm not sure if the whole pet store thing is a good idea but I love playing with their dogs. I figure it's a win/win - therapy for me, and exercise and attention for the dogs.

Today we went and first played with this tiny Chihuahua. I would love to get one of those cuties! But they are so small that I'm afraid it will get stepped on or choke on a grape or something. And my DH says they yip too much. Any insight on this?

Later we asked to play with a Pug but it was too new so the guy asked us if we'd play with this "weird looking dog" that no one ever asked to get out. After picking my heart up off of the floor we gladly took the dog to the play area and poured out all the love and attention we could muster in that 5 minutes. I hate this about myself, but I don't think I could buy an ugly dog. I feel so bad for it, but I guess I'm just shallow like that.

Maybe it's because two friends and my mother-in-law have all gotten puppies in the last month, but it's been on my mind lately about possibly getting a dog. I really don't think that now is the time though. But I like to research which dog I would get if the circumstances were right. It seems like any dog I consider ends up being over $1,000. Why are dogs so expensive? Seems kind of weird to spend that much on a dog. The cute dog accessories, maybe. (kidding)

Thinking about puppies...Wouldn't it be great if, like puppies, when our kids were driving us crazy or just needed some down time, we could simply put them in their little cages? Throw in a couple toys and a pee pad? Just a thought.